I Never Stopped Believing In You
by Alice May Sawyer
Summary: In 2003, 7 year old Kendall Knight, 2 year old Katie Knight, and their adopted 6 year old brother, Carlos Garcia, are separated from their 10 year old brother Ethan Knight after he's abducted. When he's found after 9 years, will they be able to reconnect?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: In honor of Friday the 13th, I'm starting a new story! Don't worry…I haven't given up on 'When In Need'…I will continue that soon. Oh, and any of the dates that appear in this story, I'm not sure if they're true…they're probably not…this is more of an Alternate Universe story anyway…so. Enjoy!**

**Warning:**** (this applies for later...) abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own big time rush…However, I DO own my characters Ethan Knight, Thomas Creavy, or…any other random character that may appear. :)**

**July, Tuesday 10****th****, 2003**

"Kendall! Carlos! Get back here!" 10 year old Ethan Knight exclaimed to his younger, 7 year old brother, Kendall Knight, and their 6 year old adopted brother, Carlos Garcias.

Ethan ran down the hill, his ball cap flying off his head as his long legs carried him down quicker and quicker. He slowed a bit as he got closer to Carlos, grabbing him by the hood of his purple jacket. The two boys stumbled and fell down the rest of the hill, Carlos laughing the entire way. Ethan quickly got up and, seeing as they were now at the bottom of the hill, grabbed Kendall when he too reached the bottom.

"What have I told you about staying close?" asked Ethan slightly irritated. "Mom trusted me to watch you two and I can't do that when you guys are running off."

"But Edan," Carlos was currently missing his two front teeth and couldn't properly pronounce all his words. "The hiwws aw so big an' fum to rum dow!"

"And it's fun to always win," added Kendall, smirking.

Carlos pouted. "I cun rum fasta tan you!" He exclaimed. "Edan sopped me!"

"I beat you every day, Carlitos," Kendall said. Ethan had taken the boys, and sometimes their 2 year old sister Katie, to the park every day since summer started. And every one of those days Kendall and Carlos had had some sort of race in which Kendall always won. It wasn't that Carlos was slow or anything, in fact he was very, very fast. It was the fact that Carlos was much smaller than Kendall, who was actually pretty tall for a 7 year old. Not to mention, Carlos was also sick a lot of the time and therefore weaker than Kendall.

Ethan inwardly sighed and kneeled down in front of his Latino brother who hadn't gotten up from tumbling down the hill earlier.

"It's okay, Carlos," he reassured. "You'll win next time. I promise."

Carlos smiled his tooth-less smile up at Ethan, who in turn smiled. It was impossible not to be happy when the little ball of energy was smiling.

"Okay, Edan," he said in a determined way. Ethan helped him up and grasped his younger brothers' hands. The three began walking up the hill and to their home, when the tallest boy felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find an older, balding man, maybe in his mid-40's, standing behind the boys, holding Ethan's ball cap. The corners of his lips curled upward.

"I believe you dropped this," he said in a low, gravelly voice, placing the hat on the oldest boy's head, slightly rubbing Ethan's temple with his thumb as he did so.

Ethan slightly shuddered. He didn't like the look or the smile the creepy man was giving him.

"T-thanks..." Ethan stuttered nervously, quickly leading his brothers away from the man and back home. He looked back only once, the same uneasy feeling washing over him as he did.

((-line-line-line-line-))

Thomas Creavy had to restrain himself from jumping with joy. The boy. The perfect, perfect little boy had lost his adorable little hat giving him the ideal opportunity to talk to him. To touch him...he could've grabbed him. Made him his. Take that flawless little cherub as his own...no. Everything had to be in place...It had to be perfect. No. It _would_ be perfect. Only the best for his angel…his rose of a child…The golden haired boy would be his. And only his.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow. One day and already there was an incredible response...Thank you to everyone who put this on their story alert, reviewed, favorited this story, favorited me as an author. :) I appreciate it. Enjoy Chapter 2!**

**Warning for future chapters: abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer:**** I do NOT own big time rush…However, I DO own my characters Ethan Knight and Thomas Creavy**

**July, Thursday 12th, 2003**

"Mmhmm. Just what I thought," Jennifer Knight said as she took the thermometor out of her adopted son's mouth. "102. You're staying in bed, sweety."

Carlos frowned. "But Mama, I gah ta go ta de pawk!" He coughed and slightly winced. "I meed to beat Kendaw."

"You're too sick, honey," She kissed his pale, clammy head. "I'll bring you some soup." And with that she left the room her two younger sons shared.

Carlos sighed and leaned back in his Star Wars covered pillow, crossing his arms and sniffling. "I'm awways too sick..."

Ethan came down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Morning, sweety," Jennifer greeted him.

"Hi," he responded, picking at some grapes in the fruit bowl, "Whatcha making?"

"Soup. Poor Carlos is sick."

"Again?" He was silent for a second. "I can take it for him if you want..."

Jennifer was about to protest, when she heard Katie waking up in the other room. And when Katie was awake, her climbing out of her small bed and somehow making her way to a phone or computer was inevitable. She nodded and gave the tray of soup and crackers to her oldest child and proceeded to walk out of the room. Ethan then took the tray to his brother's room. "Hey, Carlitos."

Carlos tried to hide his smile at the nickname his brothers had given him. "I can't go to da pawk."

Ethan nodded and put the tray on Kendall's bed. "I know. But think of it this way; the quicker you get better, the quicker you can outrun Kendall."

Carlos smiled, but frowned again soon after. "Why am I awways sick?"

Ethan knew the exact reason for that, as he was with his mom when Carlos was adopted. Carlos came from an abusive home and let's just say because of the abuse he was frequently in the hospital and had suffered enough casualties where his immune system no longer properly worked. But that's not what he would tell him. So instead he shrugged and said, "That's just part of what makes you, you."

Carlos didn't particularly like that answer, but just accepted it and noddded. "Okay," he responded quietly.

Ethan nodded once and gave him his soup. "Get better."

"Tank you, Edan," he said and started eating.

Ethan left the room and felt a sense of relief come over him. Carlos was sick. Maybe even sicker than usual. And if he was sick, it meant no park. Ever since they went to the park on Tuesday, Ethan couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. He knew he had seen that man before, but he was always much further away...and typically, if Ethan noticed him, the man would hide behing something. Never before had the creepy old man come that close to him. And he didn't like it. The man _seemed_ nice enough giving him back the ball cap his father gave him before he died, but the look on his face, or more specifically, his black eyes screamed want. Need...and something else he couldn't quite place, but he knew it was something evil...he tried to put it past him, but he just couldn't. In fact, that very night, he couldn't sleep _because_ of him. And even today, Ethan woke with a start. He wanted to tell his mom, but she was busy enough juggling work and taking care of him and his siblings. So Ethan was left to worry in silence, hoping that he was wrong and that soon enough everything would be back to normal.

((-line-line-line-line-line-))

Thomas Creavy smiled at the pictures on the wall. They were all pictures of him. His precious little boy. Soon. Soon enough he would be his...it was now or never and Thomas couldn't handle the idea of a world without the darling child...tomorrow. Yes. It was time.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Another chapter? Already? It's true...I felt Chapter 2 wasn't adequate enough, so here! Chapter 3. Now it's getting good...oh. But before I start the chapter, I want to give another thank you to every one who has reviewed, added me or the story to their favorites, put this story on alert, or...anything else I'm forgetting. It really makes my day and makes me smile that my story is getting such a positive response in such a short amount of time! So again, thank you to all of you and enjoy chapter 3! :D**

**Warning: abuse, implied rape, some cursing (However, those first two are for future chapters)**

**Disclaimer:**** I do NOT own big time rush…However, I DO own my characters Ethan Knight and Thomas Creavy and any other characters that may or may not appear in future chapters :)**

**July, Friday 13th, 2003**

"Hurry up, Ethan!" Kendall yelled over his shoulder.

"Why don't you slow down!" Ethan yelled back while Carlos giggled. He was currently giving the little Latino a piggy back ride who has holding onto his new super bouncy ball for dear life. The boys were going to the park again to see just how high the ball could bounce. Ethan personally didn't want to go out of fear that the man would be there, but his brothers insisted and his mom (giving Carlos medicine the night before and earlier in the day making his temperature significantly go down) said it was fine just as long as they didn't run _too_ much. Of course the younger boys protested to this, but after remembering that the super bouncy ball Carlos got for his birthday was still left untested, they quickly lit up saying that they were going to bounce the ball to the moon!

Seeing that Kendall wasn't going to wait for them, in fact he was running faster, Ethan tightened his grip on his brother's legs and ran quicker after the 7 year old. Soon enough, the shorter blonde slowed down and stopped at one side of the basketball court, as the other side was being used by some taller, older teenagers.

"Here is perfect!" He exclaimed excitedly.

"Yeah! Pewfect!" Carlos repeated. He jumped off his older brother's back and instantly fell to the ground.

"Carlos! You okay?" Ethan asked worriedly as he helped up the small boy.

The 6 year old smiled and pushed the big black hockey helmet up from over his eyes and nodded. "I'm okay." He then got up and practically jumped over to Kendall; he was so excited.

Seeing as he had the ball, Carlos bounced it first and laughed as it flew into the air. He proceeded to bounce it as hard as he could a couple more times, until Kendall took it. Kendall managed to bounce it higher, making it bounce higher than the basketball hoop a couple times. The two boys kept bouncing the super bouncy ball, with Ethan leaning against the basketball hoop, until Kendall bounced it higher than they had before. The ball flew into the crowd of basketball playing teenagers, somehow missing all of them, over the hoop, and it continued bouncing until it bounced away and out of sight.

"Oh no!" Carlos cried.

"Don't worry. We'll find it," Ethan reassured him. "Come on. Let's go." He took his brother's hands and lead them across the basketball court and into the bushes.

((line-line-line-line))

Thomas smiled. This was all too perfect. His plan was foolproof and the adorable blonde boy was now within his grasp. Just a few more steps...

((line-line-line-line))

Kendall pushed away some leaves and twigs; he couldn't find the ball anywhere. Most likely it was lost, which made him feel guilty. It would've been okay if it was _his_ bouncy ball, but it wasn't. It was Carlos'. He sighed and sat in the dirt looking around. He thought he saw a small glint of sunlight hitting sparkly yellow plastic and was about to get up and investigate, when a pair of large, rough hands picked him up off the ground. Whoever was carrying him started moving and Kendall screamed.

((line-line-line-line))

Shit. It was the wrong kid. Thomas was too excited about claiming the fantastic child as his own, that he grabbed the wrong one. And now he was screaming. Well La tee Dah. 'No. You can't let this change anything, Thomas.' He thought to himself. He quickly threw the _other_ kid with the mop of blonde hair down to the ground and as soon as he did, low and behold. He came. How sweet. Coming to his brother's rescue...

((line-line-line-line))

Kendall was screaming. That was the only thought that entered Ethan's head. Was it a garden snake? Was it a spider? His brother was terrified of _both _those things...no no no...he was supposed to be responsible! He was supposed to take care of his brother and he couldn't even do that! Ethan quickly ran over to his brother who was lying in the dirt, shaking and slightly crying in fear. Ethan wanted to protect him, make sure he was okay...but before he could do anything...he saw him. His blue eyes widened in fear and he involuntarily took a slight step back. He was here. The old, balding, creepy man with the black lust-filled eyes was there and it didn't take long for Ethan to realize what was going on- he tried to take him. That man tried to take his brother. That's what he was telling himself...it's what he repeated in his head over and over. He tried to take his brother and now he should scream fire like he learned in school. But, somewhere deep down, he knew it wasn't the case. Deep down he knew that Kendall was just a mistake and that the man was there for him. He took another step backwards and the creep took a step forward, the corners of his lips curling up sadisticly as he did so. Ethan's fears were assured and soon, he was running. He ran as fast as he could, adrenaline fueling him, making the 10 year old even faster, but it was to no avail. Though he ran a fairly far distance, the man was still taller and stronger and it wasn't long until the man grabbed him; curling his arm around his chest. Ethan kicked his legs and attempted to scream, but before he could, the man pulled a cloth out of his pocket and forced it over the young boy's mouth and nose. Panicking, Ethan inhaled the chemical-ridden rag and soon enough darkness began to surround him, and his muscles ached making his wild kicks and punches harder to throw. His throat and lungs burned and his head began swimming. Before he knew it, Ethan was unconscious and in another 3 minutes he was taken. Gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay. So it's my goal to post at least 7 chapters before this 3 day weekend is over, so if it seems like I'm posting a lot...well now you know...thanks for the reviews and such and enjoy chapter 4! **

**Warning: Abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever, or _will_ ever own Big Time Rush...However, I do own my characters Ethan Knight, Thomas Creavy, and characters you _might_ see *hint hint* later on.**

**July, Friday 13th, 2012 (A/N: I checked a calendar, and that _is _a real date ;) )**

16 year old Kendall squinted as a thin beam of light trailed through the slight crack in the curtains and directly hitting his eyes. He groaned, not wanting to wake up just yet. However, knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, he turned over in bed and looked at the digital alarm clock on his bed side table.

(-)

**7/13/12**

**9:00 A.M.**

(-)

Nine o'clock? Oh no. He was late. Why didn't his alarm go off? Well it was no matter now. Completely ignoring the date, Kendall jumped out of bed, ran down the hall, slipped down swirly, and dashed across the living room where 16 year old James and 16 year old Logan were sitting on the orange couch; James reading People's Magazine and Logan watching some medical show, while 15 year old Carlos was indifferently poking at some cereal with a spoon that was, strangely enough, in his helmet. Kendall quickly grabbed the remote from Logan and changed it to the local news channel, earning a groan from James and Logan.

"Y'know I _was _watching that," Logan said.

"I thought turning off his alarm would have stopped him," James muttered. Carlos rolled his eyes and silently sat next to Kendall.

Seeing that he was done watching TV for the morning, Logan momentarily disappeared to the room he shared with James, grabbed one of his giant medical books and came back grumbling, "I need to finish this edition anyway..."

Everyday for the past 5 years now, Kendall woke up at 7 A.M., watched the news, and then finished the morning by going onto the Missing and Exploited Childrens Website all in hopes of hearing _something_ about his older brother. James and Logan didn't get it. Carlos and Kendall told them about Ethan in the upmost confidence, but even then they just didn't understand. James and Logan didn't understand, Katie was to young to remember or, as much as she felt horrible about it, care, Jennifer Knight pretended as if he never existed and that _Kendall_ was the oldest, but Carlos...Carlos completely understood how he felt. Well, not completely. Yes, he felt guilty, but he had no reason to. In Kendall's eyes, Carlos was utterly innocent, not even really being there when Ethan was taken, while Kendall was at fault. Ethan had come to save him. Protect him from that evil man and what did he do? Nothing. All he did was cry like a baby. It was all his fault that for years his mom cried at night. That Katie was growing up without knowing who her brother was. For every little thing his family had to deal with because he was a coward, he cursed himself. And that was why it was his responsibility to find Ethan...to make things better and make his family whole again.

_"...And on this beautiful Friday the 13th..."_

Kendall's head snapped up upon hearing the reporter inform the viewing audience of the date. Friday the 13th...and what month was it? July? He felt himself turn paler...nine years. Today was the official ninth anniversary since Ethan had been stripped from them...

"It's- "he started.

"I know," Carlos interrupted in a somber voice. He was looking down at his hands.

Kendall also looked down. This was worse than usual. Every time the anniversary of Ethan's abduction came up Carlos seemed a bit sadder, he _was_ a sensitive kid, but no matter what, he always tried to console and cheer up Kendall, but today...he wouldn't even _look_ at Kendall. This was bad. Kendall was a terrible brother, person and he had to make this right...

* * *

><p>Carlos was already drained of energy from the moment he woke up. 'Strange.' He thought to himself and looked at his orange wrist watch which was actually meant for little kids. It originally intended to be a joke by Logan, but Carlos had fallen in love with the bright orange plastic and refused to take it off in case Logan threw it away. <strong>5:30 A.M.<strong> Hmm. Well nothing unusual there...Carlos almost always woke up around that time...he liked waking up before every one else. It gave him the opportunity to see the sun rise, not that he would admit that to anyone, and to scheme about what stunt he would perform for the day.

Carlos got dressed still pondering why he was so out of it. He then quietly left the room he shared with his brother and went into the kitchen where he retrieved his helmet from the fridge. Deciding it was too cold to wear, he placed a bowl in his helmet and with the helmet-bowl, made some cereal. On his way to the couch, Carlos passed by one of the calendars that Logan put up, he insisted they keep a calendar in every room, only glancing at it. However, noticing the date, he backtracked and looked at the calendar with a more diligent eye.

(-)

**July**

**Friday**

**13**

(-)

That was why he felt so awful. Carlos frowned. The ninth anniversary already...Today would be a hard, long day. He knew Kendall felt terrible about what happened to Ethan, and Carlos had tried to console him, but eventually, over the years, Kendall began to push him away. He didn't even understand _why_ Kendall felt so guilty...if anything, it was all Carlos' fault. It was _his _bouncy ball, _he _was the one who wanted to go to the park so badly...maybe if he had said something or didn't make such a fuss over that stupid bouncy ball, Ethan would still be here. Heck. When Kendall started screaming, he didn't even bother going to check on him. He just sat in the dirt crying over that freaking ball like a baby! And to make things worse, Carlos was hardly doing anything to look for their brother, while Kendall was doing everything and anything besides actually going out and investigating every house out there. It's not that he didn't care about his missing brother, in fact he cared a great deal about him, but...as much as it pained him to think about it, or at least added more pain; he already felt a twinge of pain thinking about his brother, it was just...well...it had already been 9 years. 9 years and absolutely no results. Carlos was sure that the police had merely given up on the case long ago and had not told them or they just didn't care anymore. It may be horrible, but it was true. By now, Ethan would be 19 which would mean he'd be too old. When it came to police cases media and word of mouth was everything. And once you hit a certain age, the media became biased. They only cared about the cute little kids who were under the age of 15. And once the media stopped caring, the _police_ stopped caring and then the case would stop altogether.

Carlos sighed and sat on the couch. What an awful, dreadful day.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Chapter 5! Already? Yes! Like I said. I want to try to post as much as I can before the 3 day weekend ends. Anyway, thank you to all who have reviewed and done other positive things concerning my story and for continuing to read. Enjoy!**

**Warning:**** implied abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own big time rush…However, I DO own my characters Ethan Knight, Thomas Creavy, Piper Reynolds, and any other random minor character that may appear**

**July, Thursday 19th, 2012**

Today was just another day. Kendall was busy checking the Missing Kids website; the news was over, and James, Logan, and Carlos were relaxing on their usual lounge chairs next to the Palm Woods pool. Well, actually, James was the only one_ really _relaxing, soaking up the sun's rays, Logan was helping Camille with a new movie role (one without _too_ much slapping), and Carlos was watching the 15 year old Piper Reynolds, order a smoothie.

Piper walked past him, smiling as she did. Carlos in turn smiled and immediately started blushing as soon as she left. He was never really good with girls...but it didn't exactly help that she was perhaps prettier than all the Jennifers combined; she had long blonde hair with pink highlights that streaked through the near white color. She had pale skin that complimented the blonde and brought out her blue eyes. She was fairly short and somewhat resembled Baby Doll from SuckerPunch. It wasn't just about her looks, though. There were many things about her that Carlos adored. Before he knew he was completely and totally in love with her, and therefore became even _more_ awkward around her, Piper and Carlos talked all the time. And it turned out they had a lot of things in common. They both loved corndogs (though Carlos still loved them _waayyyy_ more), purple was both their favorite color, they both were singers, they both had an older brother (he still hadn't told her about Ethan, though. What was the point? Most of the time the guilt was somewhat managable...), and they were both adopted. One of the only differences was he was adopted out of an abusive, neglectful family when he was 4, while she had to deal with an abusive father, who also molested her, until she ran away when she was 8. From there she lived on the streets of London (there were many times he annoyed her, asking her to say random words just because of her British accent) 'til she was found at 9 and adopted by her current family when she was 12. And that was another thing he loved about her; she was so strong, even after everything life dealt her. Carlos sighed. Why couldn't he just be smooth with girls like James was?

**A/N:**** I know this was a short one...and not very good...The purpose of this was to just introduce a new character, though...please review! :) **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Chapter 6...A certain someone may be returning ;) Yay! Thank you to every one who has reviewed, alerted or favorited this story. I love reading the reviews so much! Mostly because you guys are getting into it so much! It's awesome! And I want to give a special thanks to Hikari no Kasai, cookielover101, and BTR CARLOS LOVER. You guys are AMAZING! :D Enjoy!**

**Warning: implied abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. What I own is Ethan Knight, Piper Reynolds, Thomas Creavy, or any other minor character.**

**August, Wednesday 1st, 2012**

Ethan always knew, some day, that he would die. More specifically, from the moment 10 year old Ethan Knight woke up chained to a dirty wall with hundreds of pictures of him pinned to it, he knew that Thomas Creavy would kill him. And that was why he was now limping down the street and to the hospital...because Thomas Creavy, the devil incarnate, had tried to kill him...but this time was different. Unlike all the other times, he put up a fight. Ethan took a ragged breath and dizzily leaned against a nearby light post. He winced and wrapped his arm around his middle even tighter; trying to add pressure in attempt to stop the blood that was pouring out of him. He shook his head. No. He had to keep his mind on something else. He looked at the hospital in the distance. It was so bright...he couldn't remember the last time he _saw_ anything with so much light and that was so big. It was like a beacon to him; ushering him to continue on, though he felt himself grow weaker and weaker.

He took a deep breath and pushed himself off the pole and continued trudging on. His movements were starting to get sluggish. 'Just keep thinking about...about hospitals,' he thought to himself. Hospitals. In his old life, didn't he used to go to hospitals a lot? No, it wasn't him. It was...what's-their-name...Kendra...Camille...no, it was a boy's name...Kevin? He knew it started with a K...or maybe a C...? He shook his head again. Nope, this wasn't doing much help either...

20 minutes later, he counted how long it was, he stumbled into the ER and to the front desk.

"I-I need a...doctor..." he stuttered in a quiet, hoarse voice. His own voice surprised him. He hadn't talked in such a long time...

The nurse at the desk didn't even look at him. All she did was push a clipboard with some paperwork over to him.

Ethan looked at the nurse incredulously then to the paperwork. He closed his eyes and again tightened his grip around his abdomen. 'Stay strong,' He thought to himself. 'Showing weakness gives them power...'

He shakily took the clipboard and staggered to the plastic-covered seats. He looked to his left where a lady was sitting with a small child, maybe about 3 or 4 years old.

"E-excuse me," he asked the woman. The woman smiled at him for a second, but soon that was replaced with a startled expression. It confused him for a second, but then he realized that he must've looked pretty sketchy; he was wearing a long black trenchcoat to hide his wound and the growing blood stain and one of his arms was hidden away, tucked inside his coat to keep pressure on the wound.

The woman scooped up her child and quickly left to sit somewhere else. He sighed, slightly wincing, and continued to look around for someone to help him. His eyes trailed around the room, but soon wearily closed his eyes. It was no matter to him; even with his eyes open, darkness began to steadily creep into his vision.

"Need some help?" he heard a female voice ask. He forced his heavy eyes open and looked at the woman standing in front of him. She was a nurse in maybe her late 20's and was sporting pink scrubs with small hearts and teddy bears on them. Why she was in the ER waiting room and not with some _other_ dying person, he didn't know, but he wasn't going to ask either. If she was willing to help, he was going to take it. Ethan nodded once and the nurse took the clipboard from him and sat in the seat next to his.

"Name?" She asked.

He had to think about that one...did he even _have _a name anymore? He had a name once a long time ago, he knew that much. But then there were the fake names and fake identities that Thomas forced him to have whenever they moved to somewhere else...

"Uh...Jacob," he said quietly. "Jacob...Paisley." Lie. That was a lie. He flinched, expecting the punch or kick to have come already. But it didn't...he looked at the nurse confused. He was lying...he was lying through his teeth and she didn't attack him? He watched her write down the dishonesty. What was wrong with her?

"Okay. Nice to meet you, Jacob," She said kindly and continued on with the paperwork. "Date of birth?"

Ethan closed his lead-like eyes; it was easier than trying to force them to stay open. Again, he had to think about it. There was a time, when he was first taken away from his family, that he made himself remember everything; prepared an entire conservation for when he would be found:

_Hi. My name's Ethan Knight. I'm 10 years old and I just graduated 4th grade. My favorite subject's English. I have 2 brothers, Kendall Knight whose 7 years old, and Carlos Garcias whose 6 years old. Any other siblings? Yes. I have a 2 year old sister, Katie Knight. Sometimes I think she's smarter than me. Why, you ask? Well, like I said, she's only 2 and already she's been able to hack into my mom's computer and organize our bills...or some adult thing like that. My parents? My mom's Jennifer Knight and my dad was Alexander Knight. Yes, was. He died in a car crash a little before Katie was born. I miss him a lot. My address? 184 Sycamore St. Northeast. That's in Zumbrota, Minnesota. It's near the Zumbro River. You're taking me home now? **He would smile to himself at this part.** Thank you._

For months, he practiced...tried to make it perfect. But eventually, he gave up on his speech as (being locked in a room that purposefully provided no sunlight) days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and months turned to years. Or what he thought was years...maybe. He still wasn't sure even now, being away from that bastard. Over the time he was with him, Ethan was never allowed to look in a mirror and even when they moved to a different state, city, maybe even country, he had a bag put over his head and was forced to ride in the trunk all to keep him oblivious. So, even if he _did _know how much time had passed since he was kidnapped when he was...wait. How old _was_ he when that happened?

The nurse quietly cleared her throat, politely pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Can-can we...just...skip that...q-question?" Ethan slurred. He felt his chest grow tight, making it even harder to breath. He heard the nurse and a few other people gasp, while others were murmuring to themselves, making the buzz in the room even louder. What happened now? He slightly opened his eyes and through his blurred vision saw that his trench coat had become completely undone (when had that happened?) exposing his bleeding wound that had completely stained his shirt and pants in a red so dark it was almost black, and had also started to create a small maroon puddle at his feet. He knew the nurse asked him something, obviously not on the paperwork anymore, but he couldn't hear her. He could hardly hear _anything_ anymore...the only thing he _did_ hear was someone scream as Ethan fell forward, out of his chair and onto the floor. Thomas Creavy had once again been the source of his pain and the reason he blacked out.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Chapter 7! Two things:**

**1) I didn't meet my goal...I only got **_**six**_** chapters before the three day weekend, not seven. But hey. Six chapters in three days...that's pretty good. Especially 'cause I usually procrastinate on things like this...and I really like that someone even put that in a review/comment. Haha Thank you, Imabe. And no, I'm not being sarcastic...I really like that you added that. It makes me happy that at least one person is reading my Author Notes. :)**

**2) Y'know what's awesome? Turning on your phone after school and finding three new e-mails; all from people who have put your story on alert or reviewed. That really just made my day. Can't wait to see what will happen after school tomorrow. :)**

**Hmm. Long Author's Note...at least longer than what I usually do...Enjoy everyone!**

**Warning: abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush...at all. I own Ethan Knight, Piper Reynolds, Thomas Creavy, or any other minor character that might appear. For instance, the nurse in the last chapter...not sure whether or not to include her again...**

**August, Thursday 2nd, 2012**

_"...there were no survivors. And in other news..."_

Logan groaned. The reporter was just droning on and on...Logan looked at the clock on the DVR.

**( - )**

**9:56**

**( - )**

Good. Just four more minutes and he could change from the stupid news to something more to his suiting like a documentary…a good medical show…or maybe just Spongebob.

"…_being horribly mutilated."_

Why was the news always so depressing? As ironic as it was, him being the smart one...the one who knew everything, Logan Mitchell hated the news. Maybe it was because of Kendall's compulsive need to have the news on every morning and throwing a fit if they ever changed it, or maybe it was because of Carlos' happy-go-lucky, super positive attitude rubbing off on him. But ever since he became friends with the Knights (Kendall when they were both 8 and he punched the bully who pushed Logan off the monkey bars, and Carlos when he was 9 and Logan was 10. Logan stayed with him in the hospital, until Kendall and Mama Knight came, when Carlos got a concussion from falling off the roof of the school), Logan hated watching the news.

_"...Believed to be Ethan Knight; a child that had gone missing 9 years ago..."_

Logan was immediately snapped out of his thoughts and looked at the TV. What? Did that reporter just say what he thought she said? He looked around. Nope. No Kendall, he was in the bathroom, no Carlos, he was playing hopscotch on the balcony with Katie. _Really?_ The whole reason Kendall even made them _watch_ the news every single day and he was _GONE?_

"KENDALL! CARLOS! GOD DAMMIT, GET OUT HERE! NOW!" He yelled, both in shock and excitement.

Carlos ran in first, helmet on backwards for some reason, and carrying Katie over his shoulder.

"What? What? Is there a fire?" He asked.

Wow. Logan just couldn't believe Carlos sometimes…Seeing there was no fire, Carlos put Katie down, who brushed herself out, slightly annoyed at her adopted brother.

Kendall came out a few minutes later. Logan couldn't believe him. What was taking him so damn long to just get the hell over to the couch? That was how excited Logan was for his friends- he resorted to cussing; even if most of it was in his mind.

"What?" Kendall asked.

Logan quickly grabbed the remote, dropping it a few times as he fumbled with the rewind button. It seemed he lost all coordination as well when he was getting impatiently excited.

He finally managed to rewind the program to the correct place. Kendall's eyes widened in shock and Carlos smiled a smile so big, Logan was worried his face would split in two.

The brothers looked at each other and both started screaming in joy. They were finally going to be a family again.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**** Yay chapter 8! I just want to thank all of you who have reviewed or put this story on alert. It gives me more incentive to ****write :) Hmmm….not much left to say…well. This chapter's a bit longer…longer than the chapters I **_**usually**_** write...maybe twice as long...? I'm not sure. Anway, enjoy!**

**Warning****: abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer:**** Sadly, I do not own Big Time Rush. But I do, however, own Ethan Knight, Piper Reynolds, Thomas Creavy, Nurse Emily, or any other minor character that might just poof in anywhere at some point.**

**August, Friday 3****rd****, 2012**

Ethan had been slipping in and out of consciousness for the past 2 days. Vaguely aware of his surroundings, he knew two things- he had passed out in the ER waiting room and wherever he was now was especially…white. White and light. That's how he saw everything in his blurred vision. Being forever trapped in the darkness, Ethan cherished how light and luminescent everything was. And though he himself felt cold and stiff, the light was warm…inviting…

He secretly hoped, believed he was in heaven. That he was dead; away from all the pain and torture. The thought of death brought him joy. It was an add feeling; he hadn't felt joy or happiness in so long…

However, his theory of death slowly dissolved. For instance, occasionally a brighter, blinding light would appear in his sight, consuming everything he saw for a few seconds, and then leaving him seeing black dots and red splotches for a few moments longer. This seemed very strange to him to begin with, but he ignored this; it wasn't enough proof for the 19 year old. What _really_ pulled the thread that he was dead, were the times when he would feel an excruciating, sharp pang of pain that spread like fire throughout his whole being, blinding him in another way, until a couple minutes later, he would feel an icy liquid course all through his system, until he returned to his numb, bodiless feeling that he was currently in. However, unlike all the other times, this time his sedation was different…the floating feeling was weaker…

"Ethan," he heard a voice call. "It's time to wake up, sleepy…" What? Who was that? He somewhat recognized the kind voice, but he still didn't want to wake up just yet…wait, wake up? Yep. That completely blew his dead theory.

Seeing he was stirring but not completely awake yet, the voice said in a more stern voice,

"It's time to wake up, Ethan." And he felt a pair of warm hands slightly, ever so gently, tap his arm.

Ethan…the name sounded so familiar, so comfortable. In a sense it felt…right.

Deciding the voice wasn't going to give up any time soon and that it knew he could hear it, Ethan slowly opened his eyes, looking around at his surroundings. Hospital…he was in the hospital still. The room was dimly lit (still brighter than what he was used to); the only source of light coming from a sliver of window the blinds couldn't cover. Through that sliver, he saw the sun. Even if he couldn't see much of it, it was still the sun. The shining, yellow, glorious sun. He thought it couldn't be real. It had to be either one of those spotlights or lamplights…or maybe it was all just a dream. An incredibly vivid dream. Being away from the monster, actually seeing the ball of light…it couldn't be anything, _but_ a dream. Yes, not death, but a dream. Any minute now he'd wake up chained to that filthy, god forsaken, damned bed, enduring whatever Thomas threw at him next…sometimes, in fact, throwing things or even _him_ was included. For being in his mid-50's Thomas was actually fairly strong. Ethan slightly shook his head to clear his mind of that ass hole. Since this had to be a dream, if only he could see a mirror…well, then he'd be content. He'd be able to handle whatever happened to him next when he woke up again...

He heard someone softly clearing their throat, bringing him out of his thoughts and back to reality, as it really _wasn't_ a dream. Whoever that was, he didn't get a very good look when he first opened his eyes, was the voice that brought him out of his sleep in the beginning. It wasn't just that, though, he also recognized that sound- that specific throat clearing sound. He tore his eyes away from the window and looked to his left. He was right- it was the same nurse that helped him in the waiting room, all that time before…how long _had_ it been?

The nurse smiled at him. "Glad to see you're awake," she said. "I'm Nurse Emily." She went to his right side where, he noticed for the first time, he had several needles protruding out of his wrist, hand, and arm, making it turn blue and purple wherever the needles were stuck in. There were also other various medical equipment connected to that arm and also on his left. However, it seemed like most of the sources of beeping were on his right arm for some reason unbeknownst to him. What else was he missing? Ethan moved his head a bit and felt a slight tug. He put his needle-free hand to his face and felt a tube run under his nose, behind his ears and continuing under his chin until it continued to wherever it went. Some sort of breathing tube…He then tried sitting up, to investigate better, and as he had over the past two days, he again felt the blaring, intense pain. However, this time it was so much worse than it had been before. Before, the pain was horrible, but still tolerable. But now…the burning sensation blazed through him, searing every part of him it touched; soon consuming his whole self. Ethan began gasping for breath and, like what happened not so long ago and what had been happening to him the 9 years he was gone, darkness began to seize his vision once more. Before, what only lasted a few moments, the pain only blazing a few moments, maybe (probably) even seconds, now lasted what seemed like forever to him. Ethan grimaced, clenching the bed sheets underneath him in tight fists as to attempt to keep his resolve, stay strong (weakness gave them power), and as to not scream his lungs out. He wanted to move, try to lessen the pain in some way, but he felt as if he was frozen in his spot; he just couldn't move.

Nurse Emily loosened his grip on the sheets and carefully, but strongly, pushed him back into the pillows. She then quickly pulled a long needle out of one of the many pockets on her purple Scooby Doo scrubs and ejected it into his I.V. line. Immediately, he felt the familiar coldness was throughout his veins and began to feel light headed and suddenly very tired.

"You should be more careful there," She warned as she disposed of the needle. "You only got out of surgery yesterday. You shouldn't be moving at all, let alone sitting up…"

A beeping sound, louder and different than the beeping that was already filling the room, interrupted her small rant. She pulled her pager from another one of her numerous pockets and sighed a little.

"I should go," she said. "But if you need me or if you feel any more pain, just press that red button with the picture of the old-timey nurse on the side of your bed there and I'll be over as soon as I can. Okay, sweety?

"Wait," He stopped her, wanting to know a few more things before he fell asleep again.

"Yes?" She asked patiently.

"Is…is this a dream?" His eyes started to flutter, desperately wanting to close. Fighting sleep was getting more difficult. Damn drugs…

Nurse Emily smiled sweetly. Ethan decided he liked her; even if he hardly knew her. She had a certain calming presence about her…she possessed a genuine kindness and concern for others.

"No, hon. That's just the morphine. I promise you this is all real. You're safe now, Ethan." He wasn't completely satisfied with that answer, but she began to turn towards the door again, to take her leave, and he had a couple more things he needed to know…

"Wait. One…one more thing. Please," he stopped her again, his voice getting softer and slower. She nodded once and again turned to face him.

"My," He yawned. He was practically asleep now. "You…Ethan…Another thing I…want…to ask…how…why…?"

Again she smiled and gently squeezed the hand that _didn't_ have tons of tubes taped to his skin.

"Just sleep," She whispered. "I promise there'll be plenty of time to ask anything else you want to know. Relax and get well." Ethan closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep; a small smile on his lips. Smiling. Another thing he hadn't done in what seemed like forever…it felt nice.

* * *

><p>Carlos couldn't stop smiling. Well, he <em>already<em> smiled almost all the time, but over the past two days, it was the most he had ever smiled in all his life. Kendall swore he even saw him smiling in his sleep...Carlos could only describe it as him just being so happy. He couldn't remember a time he felt happier than he did the moment Logan rewound the TV to reveal that their long lost brother was finally, FINALLY found. The two brothers had screamed, jumped, danced, hugged each other, hugged Logan, squished Katie in a hug, and destroyed James' perfect hair, that he had spent about 4 hours on, by also trampling him in a hug when he came down to see what all the noise was about. Apparently, when he was beautifying the hair, loud noises brought down his mojo...whatever that was. Carlos was insistant that they go down and get him right at that moment, but Kendall had pointed out that they didn't even know where he was. They _would_ have rewound the TV again, but, in all the comotion, someone sat on the remote, changing the channel, and completely erasing the opportunity to go back and watch the small segment to find out where the heck Ethan was.

It took about half the day to exactly pinpoint where he was. Turned out he was in a hospital in Canyon Country in _California_. That's where they lived too! What were the odds? For some lucky reason, fate was finally on their side. After that, Kendall acted just as eager to go see Ethan and bring him home, but Logan pointed out that since he was in a hospital, by the time they made the drive down to the other city and to the hospital, visiting hours would be over. He also pointed out that...well...they still technically hadn't told Mama Knight about their incredible find. So, once she came home from errands, they told her everything. Logan's discovery, where her oldest son was...and she passed out. After they finally were able to revive her, Jennifer began bawling. And that's what consumed the better part of the rest of the day and night; trying to calm her down and assuring her that she _was_ a great mom/gaurdian. They other part was getting Gustavo to agree to let them leave. In the end, thanks to Kelly as usual, it was all sorted out that the four boys would be able to skip work for as long as they needed to.

But now, _finally, _on the third day (still too long if you asked Kendall or Carlos) Kendall, James, Logan, Carlos, Katie, and Jennifer were packing their bags, they figured they'd stay in a hotel in Canyon Country instead of driving back and forth everyday, and soon after that the collective group was heading out of apartment 2J and to Jennifer's van. It may have taken two days, but they were finally coming for their brother.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Chapter 9! Woo. Sorry it took so long to post...but now it's time for the reunion! Yay! Thank you everyone for reviewing, alerting, etc. Enjoy! Oh by the way, I have a new story called ****To Survive****. It's like a futuristic...Sci-Fi story. It's only an extended summary right now; I want to see how people like it first, but yeah. Check it out and enjoy Chapter 9 :)**

**Warning: abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own Big Time Rush or Law and Order: SVU. I own Ethan Knight, Piper Reynolds, Thomas Creavy, Nurse Emily, and any other minor character that might just poof in at some point.**

**August, Saturday 4th, 2012**

They were all walking down the long hall to room 636. Or rather, Carlos was basically bouncing down the hall, James was walking but stopping at every other window to look at his reflection in one of the many windows, Katie was absorbed in her new video game, Logan was marveling at all the medical equipment and acting especially friendly to all the nurses and doctors they passed, and Kendall was practically dragging his mom to the room; she still felt incredibly horrible and like she was an awful mother.

After about a couple minutes, and passing 5 or 6 more doors, Jennifer stopped dragging her feet (she realized it was pretty much pointless now…no matter how terrible she felt, her son wasn't giving up) and followed the group of kids from behind. This now left Kendall with his thoughts while they walked to the room. Carlos smiled at him excitedly and Kendall put on a smile, but under the faux smile, on the inside…he was freaking out. All Carlos could see was the positive side of things; Ethan was back and their family would be complete now, which meant that everything was happy and good and that nothing could go wrong. But Kendall was more realistic which made him nervous. He knew that though Ethan was back it was only the first step. He knew his brother would be screwed up…in bad condition…every possible negative thing you could associate with a victim of abduction. He knew it would be a pure miracle if he remembered exactly who they all were and wasn't utterly depressed or had PTSD… But maybe…maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he was thinking…after all, there were the special cases like that of Jaycee Duggard…plus he, Logan, and James _did_ watch a lot of Law and Order: SVU (Carlos refused to watch it).

This calmed Kendall down a bit, but his insides were still twisting and churning in knots.

Finally, after another couple minutes, the group found the appropriate room just as a nurse in turquoise scrubs, sporting many multi-colored balloons, walked out. She was short, maybe 5'4" or 5'6". She was tan, having similar complexion to Carlos', and had long, straight, black hair that was neatly pulled back into a ponytail that ended mid-back.

The nurse smiled at them. "May I help you?" she asked.

"We're here for Ethan Knight," Kendall stated. "Are you his nurse?"

She nodded. "I'm Emily. You're all his family?" She smiled again. "I'm glad you're here. He's asleep right now, but feel free to go inside. Just be a bit quiet; this is the longest he's slept so far in three days…"

Everyone nodded, promising to keep quiet.

"Good," She said. "I'll go get his doctor…" And with that she left down the way they just came and to the nurse's station near the elevator.

Everybody was frozen. Yeah, they were happy Ethan was safe, but the situation didn't' seem to really hit them until that moment. The moment they entered that door…their lives would be forever changed; for the better, or for the worse…they'd soon find out.

Everyone piled into the dark room. They all momentarily looked around, but that was just briefly…they were paying attention to the long, sleeping figure in the bed. Even Katie was paying extra attention; she had shut off her gaming system and stashed it away. Again, they were frozen as they studied the blonde man. He was lying down, but it easy to tell that he was exceptionally tall; perhaps even a head or head and a half or so taller than James...it was also easy to tell that he was troubled and hurting; though he was sleeping, he had a look of pain etched across his pale, bruised face.

Jennifer was the first to move. She sat in one of the chairs next to the bed and gently grasped her oldest son's hand. It seemed that actually seeing him gave the mother of four some strength. Soon after, Kendall sat on the other side and Carlos stood behind him. Katie stood next to Kendall, resting her head on Kendall's shoulder, while Logan stood at the end of the bed; intensely examining the medical equipment; and James just stood in the middle of the room awkwardly.

The room was completely silent, except for the constant stream of beeps and sound of air flowing through the breathing tube under his nose, until Carlos asked quietly,

"Logan. What is all this stuff for?"

Logan responded as equally quiet, "Well that tube under his nose is to make sure he's getting enough air, the tube in his wrist is the IV line to make sure he's getting enough fluids, the red glowing thing clasped on his finger is to check his pulse, the tube next to the IV line is for morphine or other medicines, and the other tube next to _that _one is for blood. The cuff is to measure blood pressure, those circular stickers on his chest are to get a better picture of his heart if he needs it, and that last tube near the stickers are a chest tube; it keeps his lung inflated, drains liquid from it…things like that."

"You certainly know your equipment, son," a low voice sounded.

The boys turned around to see a man in a white lab coat, he was obviously the doctor, standing near the open door. None of them had even noticed him come in.

"I'm Dr. Sullivan," he introduced himself. "You must be his family. I'm glad you're all here…" He looked at Jennifer. "You're his mother, I presume…"

She nodded; her red, puffy eyes again leaking.

"May I speak with you in the hall?" he asked her.

Jennifer nodded and began standing up. Kendall stood up as well.

"Why can't we all hear?" he asked, slightly angry.

"It's merely protocol," Dr. Sullivan reassured and he and Jennifer left to the hall, closing the door behind them. This, however, didn't stop the boys and Katie from rushing from where they were and pressing their ears to the door. They faintly heard what they were saying, but unfortunately they missed the beginning of his speech.

Dr. Sullivan was speaking, "…he somehow managed to travel 20 miles on foot to the hospital. How he did this without bleeding out, passing out from exhaustion, dehydration, or malnourishment, or succumbing to overdose truly is a miracle."

"How-how…" Jennifer was stumbling over her words. But the doctor seemed to know what she was asking.

"Once he passed out in the waiting room, we immediately rushed him to the ER. We took a sample of blood, needing to give him a transfusion and his name and picture appeared on our computers. See, we work with the police a lot so our computers are linked to their database. A nurse called the chief, while we tended to him, and going from where he entered the hospital and back, they were able to find a faint blood trail that led to a house that was unfortunately empty; it seemed whoever did this completely scrubbed the house clean and got rid of all and any evidence."

Kendall clenched his fist. Of course. They had found the place, but it was still all in vain.

On the inside of the room they heard Mama Knight sigh; preparing herself for what was to come.

"What-what was the damage? What h-happened to my baby?" She stuttered.

Dr. Sullivan was silent for what seemed like forever. That couldn't be good…

Finally, he began speaking again, "In the condition he came to us, Ethan had already lost half his blood supply, was severely dehydrated, malnourished, and had extreme levels of alcohol, Oxycodone and Ibuprofen in his system. As I said, we gave him many blood transfusions and saw that the cause of his profuse bleeding was a deep gash starting just below his breast bone, going across his stomach, pelvis, and ending at the top of his left leg where it stopped at an artery. We rushed him to surgery, opened him up and fixed the internal and, afterwards, external damage.

"From there, we took him to ICU and almost instantaneously, he began having trouble breathing, even with a ventilator; blood started filling the breathing tube, and his heart stopped 3 times that night. We took him back to surgery where we noticed he had a deflated lung. After fixing that, we again took him to ICU; this time without his heart stopping and being able to breathe raggedly, but not with too much complication.

"A few hours after the surgery, police came back from their search of the house, requesting an examination of Ethan that could possibly further link him to that place…we found several bones that had been broken over the years that hadn't healed properly and…" He paused again. "We also found anal scarring and damage. We did a rape kit, did a full report, and fixed the extra damage.

"Like I said before, he is very lucky to be alive…it seems to defy all medical science that he in fact _is_ still alive…"

Jennifer was in shock; the boys didn't have to see her to know that- they were too. They all knew it'd be bad, but this? This seemed so…excessive…he was _already _kidnapped, why all this? Once again, when everything was starting to look up, fate threw a curve ball and changed everything they thought and knew.

Hearing that now the conversation was turning to how to care for him when he was home, what time and when physical therapy was, and what medicines to take, the kids turned towards the sleeping figure and slumped to the floor near the door.

They were all lost in their own thoughts, when they heard a low, pained moan coming from the oldest Knight's bed, pulling them out of their reveries.

Ethan blinked a few times, the drugs were making him horribly sleepy, but he still could hardly sleep. His eyesight was a bit fuzzy, but he could still see that there were four boys; one with dirty blonde hair that had a beanie pulled over it, a smaller tan one with short, slightly spiked black hair, a pale one with short, dark brown hair, and a slightly tan one with light brown hair that was cut to frame his face; and a small girl with light brown blonde hair that was pulled back into a ponytail.

"Wh-who…are you?" he mumbled tiredly.

* * *

><p><strong>August, Saturday 18th, 2012<strong>

It had been two weeks since Ethan was released from the hospital and two days since he arrived at appartment 2J. The others (he soon found out who they were after finding them in his room. Their names were Kendall, James, Carlos, Logan, Katie, and Jennifer. Though he still had trouble telling the difference between all of them, and Jennifer insisted he call her mom, but he was also still uncomfortable with that) had called the place home, but to him it was just a rather large apartment with tons of vibrant colors. This he marveled at. That there were so many different colors and so much light all in one place. The bright neon orange couch, the baby blue that adorned some of the walls, the huge windows making the place seem bigger and even brighter...again, he felt as if he were in a dream. That everything he was seeing was fake. After all, how could anyone _actually_ have a house like this? He would've loved to live there, but by himself. Everyone was wary around him...careful. And it bothered him. They typically kept their distance and watched him. The older, red haired woman would bring him medicine and make sure he was okay and occasionally the others would smile at him or help him with something, but that was about it. They hardly even said a word to him. Not that he was a very talkative person himself, but that didn't mean he didn't _want _to talk. He craved interaction; even when he was with Thomas, the man still at least talked to him, even if briefly. Though he was around more people than he had been in quite a long time, he left more alone...more isolated than ever before.

Ethan stood up from the couch, slightly wincing. He was still sore and didn't like taking medicine. He had taken enough medicine and drugs over the years to last 5 lifetimes. Everyone immediately looked at him. They treated him as if he was some fragile thing...about to break at any minute. He went to the bathroom slightly limping; not that he needed to utilize it all, but that it was the most intriguing place to him out of the entire apartment. He couldn't remember if there ever was a bathroom in all the 43 places they lived. If there was, he was never allowed to go there...

When he went inside, he locked the door. Another thing that intrigued him- locks. In the two days he had been staying with his so-called family, he had been playing with locks; locking and unlocking the bathroom door, his designated room's door...the click was a strange, alien sound that amazed him. After deciding he didn't want anyone coming to check on him again like they had before, he finally left the door locked and passed the mirrior to sit on the edge of the large bathtub, so he could think. But as he passed, he saw his reflection. He had seen it a few times before, all in his stay at the apartment, but he still could hardly believe what he saw. It fascinated him to no end. After not being able to see what he looked like in 9 years, he overhead the police and doctors talking, he couldn't help but observe his appearance every time he saw one of those forbidden mirrors.

Ethan leaned over the sink to get a better look. He had pale white skin that was stretched over his cheekbones and chin making him look sickly, thing and almost...dead. His skin was marred by black and blue spotches around his left eye and on his cheekbone under his right eye. They began turning a yellow green. To him it looked disturbing, but the other ones had assured him it meant he was healing and would disappear soon. There were a couple other lighter, though still angry marks on his neck in the shapes of long fingers. He shuddered as he remembered that night. However, some of the marks were interrupted by white textured cloth, Nurse Emily had called it gauze, that was taped to his skin and had small, faint red dots staining the nearly perfect white. It was supposedly to stop the blood and cover the broken skin from where a few needles were, but Ethan felt as if it was just to make him feel more ridiculous and secluded than he already felt he was. There was some more 'gauze' taped to his skin above one of his thick blonde eyebrows and to his ear. It was to cover a cut that had started from his right ear and ended in the middle of his forehead. Again, he cringed at the thought of how he acquired that battle wound...He shook his head making his long blonde hair, that ended a little past his ears, making the bangs that ended just above his blue eyes cover the painful memory.

Though the cut was concealed, more and more memories began flooding back to him and it soon became too much for him. He sat on the edge of the tub, head in hands and arms resting on his knees. He didn't belong here. He didn't belong and he wanted to leave. No to Creavy, but just gone. Ethan felt as if he should just fall off the face of the Earth...

* * *

><p>Kendall outwardly sighed. Ethan had left to the bathroom again and by the sounds of the many clicks, he had locked himself in there. He was constantly going to the bathroom, staying in his and Carlos' old room (they now shared a room with James and Logan) sitting on his bed, or sitting in the closet. He felt bad. He wanted to say something, anything...but he never could find the words. He wanted to show him pictures, share old memories- anything to make him try to remember <em>something, <em>but every time he saw his brother...he wasn't sure what it was, but he felt so...disconnected...almost like he wanted nothing to do with him. He wasn't sure why, but he felt awful about it. All in a matter of moments it seemed, he went to incredibly guilty, to utterly over joyed, to nervous as hell, to again horribly guilty.

**A/N:**** Sorry if that wasn't quite the reunion you all were expecting...I had all this chapter planned out except...except for the _actual_ reunion itself...horrible right? I would've waited longer to plan it out, but I was getting so anxious to post again...maybe in the next chapter I'll put the reunion in Carlos' POV...again, sorry. And again again, don't forget to check out my new story/summary To Survive. Thanks everyone!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Chapter 10..._now_ the reunion...or rather reunion in somewhat flashback form...anyway, make sure to check out my other story To Survive...there's an actual chapter now! Yay! Enjoy that and enjoy chapter 10 now**

**Warning: abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: Big Time Rush. I repeat. Big Time Rush is. Not. Mine.**

****August, Saturday 18th, 2012 **(yes, still...)**

Ethan was locked in the bathroom again. Carlos looked down at his hands. He felt terrible that over the course of the two weeks, he hadn't been there for his brother more. But he was distracted...not himself. Not only was he starting to not feel too good (he chose to keep this to himself, as Ethan was _way_ more important right now), but Piper had a new boyfriend...some guy who was basically James with red hair. He felt his heart break and shatter into a million pieces leaving him feeling empty and hollow every time he saw them together...

Carlos shook his head. He had to think of something else...anything...the first thought that came to his head was their reunion...their awkard...uncomfortable reunion...

_The two knights, Carlos, James, and Logan were all sitting near the door in shock, listening to the doctor's converstion with their mom/gaurdian, when they heard a low, pained moan coming from the long figure on the bed. Ethan was waking up. They all looked up at him. His eyes were slightly glazed over, but they could tell he was still looking them over._

_"Wh-who...are you?" Ethan mumbled tiredly._

_The kids quickly jumped to their feet, but remained silent. Carlos looked at Kendall and Kendall back, but still nothing...surprisingly, James was the first to talk._

_"Don't worry," he said. "Those bruises will disappear soon enough and Cuda has great concealing creams. Girls will be chasing after you in no time." He then smiled that dashing smile._

_"James..." Logan sighed as he covered his face with his hand._

_Katie smiled a little wanting to be apart of the banter. "We apologize for him beforehand."_

_"Hey," James said in defense. Carlos couldn't help but smile a little...be a bit smug..._he_ was usually the one they had to apologize for._

_"...what?" Ethan said. He was clearly confused. He was probably wondering who are these people, why are they in my room, and what do they want?_

_Why wasn't Mama Knight back yet? She should be back...be back and explain everything. A nurse, a doctor...someone. No. They were stuck alone. Perfect._

_"Uh..." Kendall began. "Well, you see..." He rubbed the back of his neck and was looking at his feet. Kendall was _never_ nervous..._

_"Um, we're...we're your...family," he stuttered._

_"...what?" Ethan repeated._

_"Yeah..." Kendall was clearly uncomfortable._

_"All of you?" Ethan asked in a quieter voice...either he was falling asleep again (he looked like he needed it) or the information was still setting in. Maybe both._

_Carlos shook his head. He finally spoke, "Just Kendall, me, and Katie. James and Logan are our friends...**"**_

_James scoffed. "More like family now...jeez. Thanks."_

_Carlos rolled his eyes. Usually he'd feel bad, and probably would later, but now was not the time._

_Kendall opened his mouth to say something else, but at that time the doctor came back in with Jennifer. Noticing he was awake, the doctor did a few tests, Ethan staying silent as Jennifer began gushing over him; saying how much she missed him, how sorry she was; until he fell asleep again. After that, they returned to sitting around the bed...waiting for him to wake up again._

Carlos' chest tightened and he coughed. Over the months, and especially over the last couple weeks, he began having more and more chest pain...he had always had chest pain, but this was greater...was much worse. He shook his head...he still couldn't worry about that. He had more pressing issues to attend to. Like trying to connect with Ethan again...and dealing with Piper and her stupid new boyfriend...

**A/N: I know this one was pretty short...it was just a little make-up chapter...little filler one to show the reunion scene. Sorry if it wasn't that great...for some reason, I still couldn't/can't think of how to write it...everything else, _but_ that. Argh...aggravating...**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Chapter 11! Woo! So guys, you all should participate in Big Time Rush One shot day on February 6, 2012. It's being held by JaylaHeart. It'll be a lot of fun! All you have to do is post a BTR one shot and put in your description that your story's for Big Time Rush One Shot Day. Yay! And enjoy Chapter 11 now :)**

**Warning: abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: See previous 10 chapters **

**September, Monday 24th, 2012**

School had been in progress for a month now. Because the boys kept driving away all the teachers Gustavo and Kelly hired, they had no choice but to send them to James Monroe High School. This was now there second year there. Logan absolutely adored it (the school had a fully equiped science lab and one of the biggest libraries he had ever seen in a school), James loved it (there were plenty of girls to date and tons of people that practically worshipped him), Kendall thought it was pretty cool (there were lots of sports to participate in, plus New Town High filmed scenes there about twice a week which meant more time with Jo), while Carlos couldn't stand the place. At Palm Woods High he was in the same class as the other boys, but here, because he was a year younger than James, Kendall, and Logan, he was now also a grade younger. He was in 10th grade while they were in 11th. And because they weren't in his grade, the older boys couldn't protect the small Latino when he was being bullied. The only upside he could find of the hellish high school was that Piper also went there. But now with her stupid new ginger jock boyfriend, school was worse than ever.

Jennifer quickly drove up to the curb in front of the large school. She had to go grocery shopping right after dropping off Katie at her school and because she hadn't gone in a while, and they were completely out of food now, it'd have to be a pretty big trip. She'd need as much car space as possible which meant, for once since school had started, Ethan wasn't in the car with them; it was his first time alone since they took him home. And frankly, Jennifer was freaking out. Every other minute she was checking her phone, almost crashing them into oncoming traffic more times than she was willing to admit, practically pushed them out of the car when they reached the campus, and again rushed off to get some food then get home to her son as soon as possible.

Kendall chuckled as his mom drove off to the middle school, with Katie clutching to her seat belt and door for dear life.

"Poor Katie," he commented.

Carlos smirked. "More like poor Ethan...I can only imagine how mom's gonna react when she's home." He turned to smile and joke with the boys more, but they were gone. James was already swarmed by tons of girls and guys, his head hardly visibly bobbing in the center of the crowd, Kendall was walking inside the building holding hands with Jo, and Logan was already darting to the library. Carlos frowned a bit and sighed. He began trudging inside, slightly picking up the pace to his locker to maybe, hopefully avoid his regular morning beating.

However, as usual, fate wasn't that kind. He reached his locker and immediately 17 year old Axel Finn was there with his crooney, 15 year old Justin Brankson.

"Hey faggot," Axel greeted him with his usual evil grin.

Carlos didn't respond. He just wasn't in the mood this time. Today, he was going to pretend they didn't exist as hard as it might be. He just grabbed his algebra book and notebook, closed his locker, and turned to leave to class. But as soon as he faced them, they just slammed his books out of his hands, laughing a bit as they did. But he still just ignored them and picked them right back up. It clearly upset the bullies that they weren't getting a response out of their punching bag this time, so Justin slammed his books away again, while Axel threw him against the locker.

Axel growled near Carlos' ear, "I was talking to you, retard." And he knocked him harshly into the locker again.

Carlos winced as his head slammed against the hard metal twice now.

Justin punched him in the stomache, making Carlos wince again, and Axel smirked. Where were the teachers? Where was Kendall? Logan? James? _Anyone?_

"You _answer_ when I talk. You understand, fag?" Axel again crashed him against the locker.

Carlos quickly nodded, not wanting this to continue.

"He said you answer!" the younger bully barked, again punching him the stomache.

Carlos cringed "O-okay. Okay," he stuttered.

Being satisfied for the moment, Axel punched him once more in the eye and threw him to the ground. The two larger boys then left, as did everyone else did, as the bell rang.

He stumbled to his feet, grimacing as he did so. His chest was still tight (as usual), his stomache was aching, and his eye throbbed. He went to the bathroom to see the damage. He looked in the mirror and already, his left eye was turning blue and prurple. He sighed and muttered a curse under his breath. He should probably find James; have him help cover it up...his mom was already dealing with so much and he didn't want to give her something else to worry about. But before he could do anything, his sight began to slightly blur and the world began to turn and spin around him. He grasped the sink for support and suddenly felt sick. He paused, waiting for it to pass. It did, but only slightly. Only enough where he could walk without running into _too_ many things. And even then he was so clumsy he could pass it off as his normal antics. He began staggering out of the bathroom and to class, but not before he coughed into his arm. He felt something wet against his skin and made a face. Ew. It was probably that gross clear stuff...what did Logan call it? Film or something? He looked down and noticed a few red dots shining in contrast to his tan skin. That's not good. Okay. This was a lot worse than originally thought...okay, he just had to tough out the dizziness and try not to cough too much or at all for the rest of the day, then he'd tell mom. He nodded to himself, sounded easy enough, and headed to class.

* * *

><p><strong>A few hours later...<strong>

Carlos was in P.E. with Piper; for once her dumb boyfriend wasn't there. They were sitting uder the bleachers, waiting for class to be over. Usually this was his favorite class, but after the morning's incident in the bathroom he figured it probably wasn't a very good idea. Luckily, the class was so big that it was easy for them to slip away.

Carlos laughed loudly. "C'mon. Say television!"

Piper rolled her eyes, her arms crossed. "Just because I'm from England, doesn't mean you can keep asking me how to say things. And besides! I've already said that word before! At _least _be original, Carlos...sheesh. You know, I could very well ask you how to say tellie in Spanish."

Carlos smiled wider, clapping his hands in triumph. "Ha! You said it!"

She looked confused for a moment then her eyes widened slightly, realizing she _had_ just said it. Her mouth hung open a little in shock, then she quickly closed it, pouting.

"I hate you," she stated.

Carlos smiled again. "No you don't. And besides, you shouldn't be that upset. It's a compliment really...It's sexy." He had, again, talked without thinking about it first.

Now it was _his_ turn to look shocked with wide eyes, and blushing a deep red shade, while she smiled, also a bit shocked, but mostly in some unconscious triumph.

She giggled. "You think I'm _sexy_, do you?" she teased.

Carlos' face turned an impossibly deeper red. "You...you know, I think we really should be getting back to class...the...sit-up's and...and pull...up's...good stuff..." He was stumbling on his words as he stood up to quickly leave and avoid further embarrassment.

She giggled again and stood up with him. She smiled and slgihtly ran her hand over his chest. He felt himself blush even more as his skin felt like it was on fire wherever her fingers danced; what was she doing? Was she insane!

"You know..." she said slowly, watching her own hand. She then stood on her toes and whispered in his ear, "You know, _I_ think Spanish...well. Spanish anything is pretty sexy...but that's just me." She then gave him a slightly daunting smile and skipped out from under the bleachers and back to their class where they were now playing flag football...or rather, the boys were chasing the girls, almost tearing their skirts or pants off or getting a feel of their ass, pretending they were trying to grab a flag.

Carlos had to take a couple breathes before also joining the class again. Did that just actually happen? What was she thinking! Last time he checked, she was still dating that ginger...Kacey or something...what kinda name was that anyway? What kinda self-respecting guy had a _girl's_ name? If _he_ had that name, he'd make sure people only called him by his middle name. What a douche. He shook his head, only making him dizzier; he was getting distracted again.

'Yes. Focus on the burning sensation in your chest and not the fact that Piper has completely lost it,' he thought to himself. He thought about it more and, in fact, his chest _was_ hurting more than it had before. He shook his head a little.

'Just tough it out...tough it out...' He kept telling himself.

As soon as he was sure his face wasn't tomatoe red anymore, he walked out to the large feild. But, as soon as he passed the first white line, a stronger wave of wooziness washed over him, and before he could comprehend what was happening, everything went black.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Chapter 12! Thank you all who have reviewed, alerted, or PM'd me. It's so great! YAY! Hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day and a good President's Day! Sorry this is coming so late...school's been hectic and being sick sucks. Anyway, enjoy! :)**

**Warning: abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or the song 'You'll Be In My Heart' by Phil Collins**

**September, Monday 24th, 2012**

Ethan woke up at 4 AM. He was used to it by now. Not because the boys now had to go to school, but because for as long as he could remember (so for 9 years...), he would wake up at 4 AM (if not stay up all night out of fear of more beatings or other...things he didn't want to think about...). At first it was to find a way to escape as fast as possible, but after months and many beatings, it then just became natural for him to wake up at (as his "mother" said) 'that ungodly hour.'

Now that he was safe (or at least safer...he still didn't fully trust the people), he liked waking up before everyone. It was quiet. But the quiet here, unlike the other places he was trapped in, was peaceful...tranquil almost...where in the other dwellings he lived, the silence was deafening. Like it was going to swallow him whole. It was some sort of monster...much like Thomas Creavy.

Most of the time in the mornings, Ethan would sit on the colorful couch or against the wall, anywhere really, and just watch the world turn outside the window. He liked seeing the dark blue dotted with white with the gold horizon of the city turn from the starry canvas and gradually get lighter and lighter with brilliant shades of purples, pinks, blues, yellows, and oranges that all meshed and blended together to form the symphony that was a sunrise.

Every morning, at 5:30, Carlos would join him too. At first it shocked him and he almost wanted the latino to leave so he again could be alone, but after a few days, he somewhat enjoyed the small boy's company. It surprised him how calm and quiet he was when he came out in the mornings; the tan boy was always so loud and energetic during the day. But in the small time he sat staring out the window with Ethan and til the other boys woke up, the two hardly talked, and yet there was still an unspoken appreciation and respect between the two brothers. It seemed that because they had the mornings together, they actually became closer. Ethan still didn't like talking a whole lot, but that didn't stop Carlos from babbling and rambling about nothing and everything to him at every chance he got (not including the mornings). Slowly, Carlos was helping Ethan forget the nightmare he lived by introducing him to everyone at the Palm Woods (including Ms. Piper Reynolds who he couldn't help but notice that Carlos was head over heels for), showing him around town, and showing him old photo albums and other childhood memrobilia that was yet to have him remember anything, though. But Carlos was patient and insanly anxious for him to remember _something._

But today was different. Ethan woke at his usual time and sat at the counter waiting for the adopted boy, but for some reason, this time he didn't come. It wasn't until everyone else was awake and ready to go to school (this time he wasn't coming with them because Jennifer needed more room in her car for shopping) that Carlos, not so gracefully, slid from swirly with his helmet on backwards and looking fairly pale. But before Ethan could ask if he was feeling okay, he was already running out with the rest of the gang in tow.

Jennifer grabbed her purse and followed, but not before she showered her apologies and worries and all the emergency numbers on her oldest son who assured her he'd be okay, though he was mostly trying to make her feel better. And although she still was visibly nervous, she reluctantly left.

He was now alone. Alone and vulnerable. His chest began to tighten and he suddenly felt colder at the thought. As much as he thought about how much he disliked how loud and crazy his housemates were, it was still company. It was still other people that could protect him, help keep him safe...but now they weren't here. They all were gone and that meant that Creavy would be there any second and get him. He shook his head. He couldn't think like that. Even without talking to that stupid therapist (though he hardly ever talked at the sessions. He mostly just sat there, staring at his hands or at the wall until Ms. Anderson got annoyed with him enough where she sent him away), he knew that wouldn't happen, that he was just being paranoid. He decided he had to distract himself...keep his mind busy. He didn't really have anything in his room to occupy him - actually there _were_ some books, but he got sick of having to look up every other word in the dictionary and eventually just left them on the shelf to gather dust. So, instead, he decided to see if there was anything worth while in the room the other boys shared.

When he went in, the blonde couldn't help but laugh a bit out loud. Half of the room was utterly spotless, while the other half looked like a bomb of clothes, books, notebooks, blankets, various hockey equipment, and empty food wrappers had exploded. Based off the hair care products and "male" make-up on one of the dressers on the clean side, he assumed that the clean side belonged to Logan and James, while the messy side belonged to his brothers...though the memory of them being his brothers was still missing from his banks. He looked around slightly, thinking it might be easier to find something to do and the good side of the room. He turned to the closet next to the neat bunkbeds and looked through the hanging clothes, encyclopedias, hats, shoes, bandanas, a globe, medical bag, puzzles...he stopped. Puzzles. Puzzles...he pulled out the several boxes, carried them back down to the living room, spread them all out so he could see each individual picture it was supposed to make. He wasn't sure why, though he had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with something of his former self, but looking at the intricate designs and small colorful peices, he felt...comfortable...a tad happier even. He went to the one the furthest on his left; a picture of a hospital. It seemed to be the simplest of them all. He dumped the cardboard pieces and began solving.

About halfway through his fifteenth puzzle (this time a piano...it was a good thing Logan had so many puzzles...he was solving them faster than he thought he would, only problem was he running out, with this being his third to last one), Ethan felt himself stop and looked around as his surroundings changed. Apartment 2J was now becoming an entirely different place; not one of the many basements or cellars he'd been at before, but a...warmer place. A place he somehow recognized and felt more at home than he had over the past 9 years and one month.

**_*Flashback*_**

**_December, Saturday 18th, 2000_**

_7 year old Ethan Knight was sitting at the dining room table helping his 3 year old brother Carlos with a puzzle of a puppy and kitten, that the younger Latino had gotten as a present from a nurse at the hospital. The younger boy frowned._

_"Why aw thewe so many bwon and gween ones, Edan?" he asked, crossing his small bruised arms._

_Ethan smiled at him. "Well the puppy's brown and the grass is green. Of _course_ there's gonna be a lot of them. But hey. Think of how many puzzle peices there are in _my_ puzzles. It would've been a lot more if it was mine."_

_Carlos was silent, mulling over the many puzzles his oldest brother had and how many bits he saw that they contained. He wasn't sure if he could even _count _that high. He nodded a little in agreement; he supposed this had to be easier..._

_"Why do you wike puzzles so much, Edan?" he asked._

_Now Ethan was silent for a bit until he shrugged. "I dunno. I just like solving stuff I guess...Dad says my brain's more on the logical side than on the creative side...whatever that means."_

_Carlos pursed his lips. "But you also play pano," he argued. "Isn't that also cwative?"_

_Ethan shrugged again. "I dunno, Carlitos. Dad also said that means I'll like math a lot. I mean I _do_ like math, but I like Social Studies and English better." He sighed a little. "Old people are just weird," he concluded._

_The two boys then continued looking at the unsovled puzzle in silence for a couple minutes, until Ethan offered, "Why don't we take a break? I can show you a new song I learned at practice..."_

_The small tan boy instantly smiled. "Okay!" He always loved listening to Ethan play. He jumped off the chair and raced him to the black grand paino._

_About 20 minutes later, the two brothers heard the door open then close._

_Ethan stopped playing and spun around to the door. He smiled and waved. "Hi dad! Hi Kendall!"_

_Carlos waved, not being able to talk due to the lollipop that was in his mouth._

_Alexander Knight and 4 year old Kendall also greeted the boys while taking off their heavy winter jackets, scarves, hats, and boots. Or, at least, Alex was able to get all of his blizzard sheilds off, and then helped his young boy with his._

_"We went to the stores!" Kendall exclaimed._

_Alex smiled and dusted the snow off the boxes and bags. "Ethan, where's your mother?" he asked._

_"In her room. She threw up earlier. I dunno if she's taking a nap now, but she was earlier," he responded._

_The father nodded and set the first two boxes down on the small table near the door. "Poor thing. Morning sickness was always hard for her."_

_Carlos pulled the lollipop from his lips, emitting a popping sound. "What's mowing sickness?:_

_Alex smiled and picked up his youngest son. "_Morning_ sickness is one of the things mommy's go through when they're first pregnant."_

_"Ohh..."Carlos said in an understanding tone, though he was still a little confused._

_"But, more importantly, why do you have candy?" he asked the young boy. "This is meant for Christmas. And it was at the top of the pantry."_

_Carlos giggled. "Cwimean _[climbing]_ is fun!"_

_Alex chuckled. "Well, little one. We have a present for you too. You can thank your brother, the pee-wee hockey star." he said putting him back onto the piano bench._

_Kendall smiled proudly and grabbed one of the bags. He then pulled out a brand new, shiny black hockey helmet and put it on his little brother's head. "There. Now you're an official almost pee-wee hockey player."_

_Carlos squeeled, jumping and clapping his little hands. His too big helmet falling and covering his eyes in the process. He pushed it back up and smiled._

_"Tank 'oo!" He exclaimed excitedly, hugging the younger of the two blondes' neck._

_Alex smiled. "Ethan, I believe this calls for some celebration music. Why don't you play that new song you learned?"_

_Ethan smiled back and began playing 'Ode to Joy.'_

**_*End Flashback*_**

Ethan was now leaning against the kitchen cabinet in front of the piano puzzle. He was breathing slightly heavily and there were a couple beads of sweat on his forehead. That...that...what had just happened? Was that a memory? Whatever it was, it had taken a lot out of him. Completely forgetting about the puzzle now, Ethan quickly got to his feet, having to hold onto the counter for some support and, once he was balanced again, practically ran to the living room to the photo albums that Carlos had been showing him the night before. A bit shakliy, he flipped through the various pictures seeing images, images almost exactly or identical to the ones he just saw in the shocking...flashback, he supposed to call it. Black grand piano. Small tan boy with a helmet over his eyes, Carlos, with a smiling slightly older boy with shaggy blonde hair, wearing a hockey jersey, Kendall. He left the album on the coffee table slumped back into the couch in shock.

* * *

><p><strong>An hour later...<strong>

Jennifer somehow managed to balance the many bags she had from her shopping trip from the car to apartment 2J in one go. When she came in, trying to find a place to set down the groceries, she noticed the counters, tables, and floor were littered with at least 10 solved puzzles. Some fairly easy, being puzzles for younger children, while others were pretty difficult, having 1000 or more pieces. There were also two puzzles yet to be solved and a half-finished one sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor.

She smiled. Her Ethan always _did_ love puzzles.

"Ethan, sweety, is it alright if I put the groceries on a couple of your puzzles here? There isn't really any room to put these bags down..." She asked.

No response.

She inwardly sighed and muttered to herself, "Well if they get messed up, you can always solve them again..." And with that she put her bags down and restocked the fridge and shelves."

Afterwards, she would've gone upstairs to read her Fabio romance novel on the balcony, but instead she noticed that her son was just sitting on the couch staring at the wall. Normally, this would've been a normal occurance for him, but the troubled, confused expression on his face meant that this _wasn't_ a normal thing; somthing had happened.

Concerned, she sat down next to him and rubbed his shoulder. "Hey, sweety, are you okay?"

Again, he didn't respond. But the look on his pale face was just making her more and more concerned by the minute.

"Ethan," Jennifer said in a slightly more commanding voice. "Tell me what happened."

He didn't immdiately respond, just bit the inside of his cheek as if contemplating whether or not to talk to her. Finally, after what felt like forever to the mother, he looked at her.

Quietly he said, "I had a flashback...I think I remembered something..."

Jennifer smiled. "Honey, that's great!" she exclaimed. "What about?"

He closed his eyes to remember better and retold the memory to her.

She nodded, smiling the whole time. When he was done she said,

"Yeah, that sounds about right...Carlos wouldn't stop running, climbing...jumping in excitement over his new helmet. We had just gotten him back from the hospital and because your dad and brother got him that helmet, we had to take him back sooner than we thought we'd have to." She laughed at the old memory. The corners of Ethan's lips tugged slightly upward.

She opened her mouth to reminisce another memory, all in hopes to help him remember something else, but before she could even say a word, the home phone rang. She walked over to the kitchen and looked at the caller ID. James Monroe High School. She groaned. School had only been in session for a month now and already she had received 43 calls- all about some stunt, prank, or _something_ the four boys had pulled.

As soon as she answered, though, she could tell this call was different than ones she had received before.

"Y-yes...okay..." she numbly answered and hung up the phone, her hands shaking.

Ethan looked at her concerned.

"C'mon. We're going to the hospital," she said, grabbing her purse and rushing out the door with Ethan in tow.

When they arrived at the hospital, they were greeted by James, Kendall, Logan, and Katie sitting in the waiting room. They all sat together, eyes red and puffy from crying.

A few hours later a doctor finally came by, informing the group they could go see him. Everyone immediately rushed in, crowding around the unconscious boy. He looked so small in the large bed and the tons of tubes that were protruding from his arms and neck weren't helping.

Jennifer turned to the doctor. "What happened?" she asked.

The doctor looked to his clipboard. "It seems that the tumor has eroded through his lung, he has a slight concussion, and a few bruised ribs. We have him in a medically induced coma so he can rest and not do more damage to himself."

"W-what did you just say? Since when did he have a tumor!" she asked him with wide eyes. "He has to go to the doctor's every three months- how could this have gone unnoticed?"

"It's possible it could have been hidden or malignant at the time..."

"I can't beleive this. You're the doctor! You're supposed to take care of this!" she yelled at him. Katie and the boys, even Ethan, flinched; Jennifer never yelled, even when one of them really screwed up. If she was openly yelling and glaring at the doctor, it meant that the situation was a lot wore than they thought.

"I understand, Ms. Knight and, I say this for the hospital as a whole, we are very sorry...but now that we know this, we have him scheduled for surgery later this afternoon and a nurse will come by later to talk to you about radiation treatments and how to take care of this," the doctor said and left before she could argue or yell some more.

Jennifer sighed shakily and sat in the bedside chair, taking his limp hand in hers. Softly, she began humming a small song. Ethan looked at her; the tune was so familiar...

Ethan looked to Kendall and asked quietly, "What is she doing?"

Not looking up from his shoes, he answered, "She's singing 'You'll be in my Heart'...y'know...that song from Tarzan. Whenever we were sick or something, she would sing us that song..."

Ethan looked back to Jennifer and, as he had that morning, he was overcome by the sensation of another flashback...

**_*Flashback*_**

**_April, Thursday 31st, 1998_**

_A 5 year old Ethan lied in his Toy Story clad bed, frowning as another wave of nausea passed throughout his small body. He had the flu and so far hadn't been able to hold down any of the food his mom had made for him, which made him upset; he couldn't enjoy the chicken nuggets or the Spongebob shaped macaroni and cheese. Plus, if that weren't bad enough, he had to miss school- including the feild trip his kindergarten class took to the zoo all the way in Minneappolis. His dad had promised they could go when he was better, but they wouldn't get to go behind the scenes to where only the zookeepers were allowed if they went without the school..._

_He quickly sat up and ripped off his covers as nausea turned to bile, water, and chicken noodle soup building up in his throat. He quickly ran out of the room and down the hall towards the bathroom, but didn't quite make it and began throwing up in the long hall, near the door. _

_Immediately, his parents were by his side, comforting him. Ethan started cyring in embarrassment and pain._

_"I'm s-sorry," he stuttered shakily._

_"It's okay...I can clean that up easily..." Alexander reassured, running a hand through his young son's mess of blonde hair._

_Jennifer nodded and scooped him up in her arms, carrying him back to his bed. She tucked him in and rubbed a hand across his warm, flushed cheek._

_"Don't worry, sweety..." she said softly and began singing,_

_"Come stop your crying_  
><em>It will be all right<em>  
><em>Just take my hand, Hold it tight<em>

_I will protect you_  
><em>from all around you<em>  
><em>I will be here<em>  
><em>Don't you cry..."<em>

_**'*'''*'**_

The song ringing through his head, the scene changed...

**'*'''*'**

_**October, Monday 17th, 1999**_

_6 year old Ethan walked across the parking lot, to the hospital entrance, holding hands with his Aunt Mary and carrying a large card he made for his 3 year old brother in class._

_"Do you think Kendall will like it?" He asked his favorite aunt. _

_She smiled down at at him and picked him up, carrying him the rest of the way. "Of _course _he'll like it...his older brother made it for him."_

_Ethan smiled back. "Well not really...my friend Misty helped me with the flowers and big letters."_

_"Either way, it was still very nice of you." She said, carrying him inside and to the many chairs, where Alexander was waiting, sitting in the chair closest to the chair, head in his hands._

_"Daddy!" he called, jumping out of his aunt's arms and running to him._

_The man looked up and put on a small smile, "Hey kiddo..." he said quietly. He stood up, picking up his oldest son._

_"Look...I made Kenny a card..." he proudly showed the colorful card._

_"That's nice. Good job," he said._

_"How's he doing?" Mary asked. _

_Alexander shook his head. "Not much better...Jennifer's with him right now...trying to get him to at least sleep..."_

_"Don't worry, Alex." she said, putting a hand on her brother's shoulder. "Knight's are strong..."_

_Ethan giggled. "Aunt Mary, that's funny..."_

_Alex sighed a bit. "Ethan, why don't you go down and give your brother his card?"_

_Ethan nodded, hopping out of his dad's arms and going down the main hall of the small hospital, peeking his head into every room until he saw his mother, cradling his baby brother in her arms rubbing his small back to soothe him, staying close to the bed as to not pull out any wires from the wailing toddler. He stood in the doorway and listened as her gentle voice sang,_

_"For one so small,_  
><em>you seem so strong<em>  
><em>My arms will hold you,<em>  
><em>keep you safe and warm<em>  
><em>This bond between us<em>  
><em>Can't be broken<em>  
><em>I will be here<em>  
><em>Don't you cry..."<em>

_**'*'''*'**_

**_July, Friday 20th, 2001_**

_A now 8 and a half year old Ethan stood in the doorway of his mom's bedroom, watching sadly, helplessly as she cried, hugging a pillow to her chest. He had just put his newborn sister, Katie, in her crib to sleep. His dad had died 3 weeks ago and Katie was born a week after that._

_His mom had been crying all day and staying in her room, getting up only every now and then to take care of Katie. That lead Ethan to take care of his younger brothers and help with his sister when his mom wouldn't. Eventually, he sent 5 year old Kendall and 4 year old Carlos to spend the night with their aunt. He would've liked to gone too, but he had to help his mom with Katie and anything else she might need._

_There were two things he was sure of since his dad died; One. He had to be the man of the house now and help in any way possible, making him mature faster than he should have. And two. There was an inexplicable hole in chest that he wasn't sure would ever heal or fill again, now that he had no dad._

_But, for the young blonde, there was no time to wallow. He had to be strong not just for his mom now, but for Kendall who, before he left, was in a similair state as his mother and for Carlos who was confused as to what was going on and sad that he couldn't understand and sad because he knew _something_ wasn't right._

_Pulling in a deep breath and mustering all the strength he could, he walked into the large room and climbed into his mom's bed, sitting in front of the sobbing woman. He tenderly took her hand in his own and, much like she had done for him several times before, began singing,_

_"'Cause you'll be in my heart_  
><em>Yes, you'll be in my heart<em>  
><em>From this day on<em>  
><em>Now and forever more<em>

_You'll be in my heart_  
><em>No matter what they say<em>  
><em>You'll be here in my heart, always..."<em>

_***End Flashbacks***_

Ethan opened his eyes, his vision blurry as he stared forward and though he couldn't see very well, he could tell everyone was staring at him. He felt something trickle down his cheek and put his hand to it, seeing tears. At some point he had started crying. He looked to Jennifer, who smiled at him sadly. She reached out a hand to him, but he moved away, fallin out of his chair and to the floor. He quickly stumbled to his feet and ran out down the hall.

He had to get away. He had to leave. Not just from them, but from everyone. Seeing the doors to the exit, he stopped and turned to the chairs nearby, collapsing in the first one he came to and buried his head in his hands.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Here's chapter 13! Sorry this again took so long...sheesh. What's up with me? Thank you for reviewing, alerting, and favoriting. It's awesome! Thanks for sticking with this story for so long and for putting up with me and my long breaks inbetween. And yay! BTR won at the KCA's! WOO! Enjoy!**

**Warning: abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. Nope. But I do love that new music video :)**

**October, Friday 16th, 2012**

Carlos had been home from the hospital for a week now, but that didn't mean he was any better or still didn't have to go to the hospital once a week.

Jennifer sighed, lying down in her bed. It seemed every time, every _single_ time their lives were finally on the right track, they were thrown another curveball that threw them off course. Not that all of them were necessarily negative...Ethan's return for instance, the news that she was pregnant with Katie, the small 2 1/2 year old latino toddler that she and Alexander found broken and bleeding, helpless and crying on their porch one rainy night...But with every positive there's also a negative. And they had known more negatives than they had positive...her father's death when Ethan was born, Alexander's accident and resulting death when Katie was born, Ethan being kidnapped, some of the several mishaps that came with the band (though those weren't _nearly_ as bad as the other things), and now Carlos having a tumor.

Rolling over and looking out the window, she couldn't help but think of how their lives would've been different if all the negatives had never happened...what would it be like? Where would they be now?

As she started drifiting off to sleep, she couldn't help but keep wondering...What if her husband had never died? What if Ethan was never kidnapped? What if Carlos never had a tumor? What if...what if...

Jennifer's thoughts began to swim as reality turned to dream and images floated around her that seemed so familiar yet so strange and alien at the same time...

_**'*'''*' ..Dream.. '*'''*'**_

The air was tight and biting as frosty Minnesota came to the middle of October.

Carlos pulled his jacket tighter around himself and walked up the driveway of their cozy little house, seeing a black blob contrasting against the white sky sitting on the roof.

"Dad? What're you doing?" he asked.

Alexander Knight peeked over the roof, pushing up his glasses to assure they wouldn't fall and break on the concrete...again. "The roof started leaking again and I think your mother's tired of you tripping over pots and bowls every other second, so she sent me up here to patch up the holes."

"Oh...okay. Be careful," Carlos smiled up at his dad and went inside.

"Honey's that you?" Jennifer called from the kitchen.

Carlos took off his jacket, tossing it in the closet. "Which 'honey?' If Carlos honey, then yes."

She came from around the corner, mixing a batter of some sort in a bowl. "How was your-" her sentence was cut off by her shocked gasp. "Carlos Antonio Garcia. _Why_ do you have a black eye?"

"...would you believe I was skateboarding and ran into a tree?" he asked, giving a slight puppy dog pout.

"Ma, he's obviously lying," a familiar voice called from the living room.

Carlos smiled widely, knowing exactly who was calling his bluff, and walked to the room, seeing the mass of blonde hair peeking over the couch. "Ethan?"

Ethan turned around, facing his younger brother and smiled. "Hey Carlitos."

Carlos smiled a smile that was impossibly wider and excitedly walked over, pulling the older boy up and into a hug. "What're you doing here?"

"Colleges have fall break too you know...so what's up? And the black eye...lemme guess. You slipped on that patch of ice again at the park?"

Carlos blushed a little and looked to his feet. "...maybe..."

Ethan smiled and sat them both back down on the couch. "When are you gonna learn that I just know you too well?"

"Well you didn't get it completely right...this time I was pushed and _that_ made me slip."

Ethan immediately frowned. "Someone pushed you? Who was it? What happened?"

"Ethan, it's not that big a deal...so some jerks pushed me...whatever."

"You're kidding right? 'Litos, yeah. It's a big deal! What if they did more than just push you? It's happened before...look, I don't care _if_ I'm 19. I will kick some serious teenage ass and make sure they know not to screw with _my_ brother again."

"I'm fine. Just leave it..." Carlos said, looking at his hands. "...plus you'd get arrested."

Ethan smirked. "Yeah I probably would...whatever."

Carlos fought the smile that was playing on his lips and looked to his brother when he heard him sigh. "Look at least tell me if it happens again, okay?" he asked pleadingly.

"What good would that do? You're all college-y in California."

"This is true. And college-y? I like that. I might use that...Anyway, yeah I _physically _wouldn't be able to do anything, but that doesn't mean I can't tell Kendall. I know he'd be _equally_ as mad, or even madder, that some low-lives were screwing with _our_ little baby brother. And that James...under all those beauty products, he looks pretty tough. I bet he could also kill some bastards. Probably Logan too."

Carlos smiled a little. "I'm not a baby."

"I know. Katie's the baby."

"What? I am _so_ not a baby!" they both heard Katie yell from upstairs.

Ethan laughed and Carlos smiled. "Okay, you're not a baby, Katie," he called up to her then leaned in close to Carlos, whispering. "She's the baby of the family."

Carlos chuckled, nodding.

"I heard that!" Katie yelled down again.

"Woah. Creepy," Ethan commented. "So. Speaking of the boys, where are they?"

"Hockey practice," Carlos answered.

"And you're not there why?"

"I'm on suspension for a couple months because I almost cracked my head open again...Kendall, James, and Logan were gonna sit out with me, but the coach threatened to kick them off the team."

"He wouldn't do that...you four are the best players on the team. And if he's seriously gonna keep you from practice, well then that's his loss."

The two brothers kept talking and catching up for a little while until the door slammed open; the cold air exploding through the warm house.

"Hey mom," Kendall called, taking off his bulkey jacket and tossing it on the floor.

"Hey mama Knight!" James and Logan also greeted.

"Close the door. We can feel the cold from here..." Carlos yelled to them.

"Sorry, 'Litos," Kendall answered, closing the front door.

Logan scrunched his face up in confusion. "We?" he asked and walked to the room, James and Kendall following him.

Kendall smiled. "Ethan! Dude!" he pulled him up off the couch and into a hug much like Carlos had. "What're you doing here?"

"College's have fall break too," Logan answered for him.

Ethan smiled. "What he said."

They all sat down; Ethan sitting next to Carlos again and Kendall, James, and Logan sitting on the couch opposite from them.

"So how's college life?" Kendall asked.

"Pretty good. Piano's still fun...math and science are awesome..." Ethan smiled to himself, clearly remembering something. "I actually burned most of my hair off at the beginning of the year 'cause of an experiment gone wrong."

Logan smiled. "What happened?"

"_That's_ why your hair's shorter..." Kendall commented.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Get nerdy later. Have you met anyone famous yet? You _are _in Los Angeles..." James asked eagerly, sitting on the edge of his seat.

"Well..." Ethan began answering, smiling a little. "I may or may not have met a certain...Gustavo Roque..."

"What!" James screamed, jumping to his feet. His eyes were wide and mouth was open.

Carlos looked confused. "Who?"

"He's that producer guy that James is always raving about," Logan answered, hardly as interested as he was moments ago.

"He makes all those songs Katie listens to," Kendall added.

"Oohhh..." Carlos answered, understanding.

"What happened! What did you say! Does he love you? Does he love me now?" James hurredly asked, springing at the oldest blonde with a wild look and grabbing him by the collar in desperation.

"Easy..." Ethan pulled James' hands off his collar and sat up. "Well I was playing piano at some fancy restaurant to fill in for for my friend, Daniel, and this lady came up to me...she said her name was Kelly and that she worked for Gustavo Roque...we talked a bit and she dragged him over. In short, he's fat, angry, mean, and very very rich."

"Well what did she want?" James asked.

"They offered me an internship," Ethan answered as if it was nothing.

"And you turned it down?" James asked shocked, his voice high-pitched and loud.

"Well I love playing piano, but science and math's more my thing..."

"_Thank_ you," Logan said.

James threw his hands up, shaking his head. "UGH! Why are all you Knights such stubborn, thick heads! That's it! I'm disowning you."

Ethan looked at him confused. "You're disowning me?"

"Yes. I'm disowning you as a brother. You had an incredible opportunity and you're screwing it up! Plus, that could've helped _me_ get famous. So I am disowning you," James explained like it was something everyone should know.

"O...kay...I didn't know I was yours to begin with..." Ethan responded, still a bit confused.

"Well you were. You were the cool Knight brother-"

"Hey!" both Kendall and Carlos interrupted.

"But now you're just the brother I disowned," James finished, pointing his nose up and crossing his arms.

The rest of the night was filled with laughing, filling in on everyone's lives, Alexander falling off the roof and into some bushes, James and Carlos wrestling over the last corndog, and eventually everyone going upstairs and to bed; including James and Logan. Everyone except for Jennifer. At first she was cleaning the kitchen, but eventually found herself sitting by herself at the dining room table.

She sat in idle silence, until Ethan sat across from her; a mug in his hands.

"What are you doing up, sweety?" she asked him.

Ethan shrugged. "Couldn't sleep."

"Well coffee's certainly not gonna help..."

He smiled. "It's hot chocolate. Not as good as dad's...I considered waking him up and asking him to make me some, but he already had a pretty hard day..."

She chuckled. "Well don't stay up too long...I'm sure the boy's are gonna want to do everything with you tomorrow..."

He nodded and drank a little. "I know...why are _you_ awake?"

"I guess I also couldn't sleep."

"Hmm. Must just be one of those nights..."

She nodded and squeezed his hand. "I'm glad you're here, honey."

He smiled over his mug. "Me too. I missed you guys...oh, and tell me if Carlos is having trouble with bullies again 'cause I know he's not gonna tell me..."

"Is that why he has a black eye?"

"Kinda...they pushed him and he slipped on that ice patch near the park...so yeah. It wasn't _as_ bad as what he's dealt with before, but still...and you know even then it seems like something's missing; like he didn't tell me everything."

She sighed. "Poor thing...he just can't get a break..."

"Yeah...could be worse, I guess. I mean, he's alive..."

She nodded. "I suppose...and I will try to tell you, but you know how your brother is; he doesn't want people to worry about him, so he always tries to hide it..."

"I know. It's annoying."

"Well he can't be completely to blame...if anything, he learned that from you and Kendall. You both are also always keeping things till the last minute..."

Both were silent for a moment as they recalled what was probably the worst thing he ever kept from his parents and the closest time they ever came to breaking as a family; when Ethan was almost kidnapped. Though it was a little over ten years ago now, they both still remembered it perfectly...Ethan was helping Kendall and Carlos look for a ball they lost in the bushes at the park near their house. Somewhere during this time, he was snatched by a man, later identified as Thomas Creavy; a serial kidnapper. Kendall and Carlos had quickly ran home and told Jennifer and Alexander the situation, who proceeded to call the police and chase after the bastard. Luckily, they found their son before anything happened and took turns beating the crap out of Creavy until Police came, letting them off with a warning due to the circumstances.

Ethan cleared his throat and stared at the intricate designs in the wooden table. "Well I've gotten better at that at least..."

Jennifer nodded, still thinking of that fateful day and the years that followed...the several nights that she or Alexander (or sometimes both) satyed in his room to help him when he had a nightmare, the trial that followed months after...

Ethan stood up. "Well...I'm gonna go to bed." He hugged her. "Love you, mom."

Jennifer kissed his forehead. "I love you too, sweety."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Yes, I'm alive...sorry I haven't posted in forever. I haven't really had the inspiration or time. I am going to try to update more often now, though. Yeah. Sorry...but yay! Chapter 14 now! That's exciting...enjoy!**

**Warning: abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters. Any of them will do.**

**October, Wednesday 31st, 2012**

Jennifer sighed as she pulled her purse over her shoulder. It was the first time in three weeks that Carlos and Ethan would be left home alone since his return home from the hospital. Considering the situation, the principal and teachers had let the boys miss some days during the week to stay at home with Carlos, but with mid-terms coming up and Carlos' condition slightly improving, they had no choice but to stay in school...at least until Thanksgiving break.

The mother reasoned that Carlos wouldn't be totally alone or helpless; he did have Ethan. But Ethan himself was still learning how everything worked. In fact, she was beginning to worry that he was regressing back to how he used to be when he was first found. Everything seemed to be going so smoothly, then he had the breakdown in the hospital. She tried consoling him, but he only ignored her and pushed her even more away. So instead she asked Carlos. For whatever reason, Ethan bonded with him the most out of the five of them. He told her that after having all the sudden flashbacks, Ethan was feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Again, Jennifer tried comforting her oldest son, but the only response she received was Ethan blushing a deep red and hiding away in the bathroom.

She sighed again as Kendall, Logan, James, and Katie bustled out the door; that was her sign to follow and leave for at least a few hours. She went to the couch and kissed Carlos' head who wearily smiled back and hugged her neck. She then went to Ethan and inwardly frowned, seeing him tense up as she approached.

"The emergency numbers are on the fridge, we don't have a whole lot of food but I'm going shopping, and Carlos make sure you take your medicine," she reminded, fishing her keys out of her purse.

"I know, mama," Carlos answered with a small, tired smile.

And with that, Jennifer left. Worry still pressing very heavily on her mind.

But where Jennifer was almost sick with worry, Ethan couldn't be calmer. He and Carlos had come to some unspoken agreement; Carlos would help him remember and understand with the best answer the younger boy could come up with. Basically, if Ethan had a question about pretty much anything, Carlos was there to help. Ethan's end of the deal was to help Carlos with anything he needed, physically. Medicine, helping up stairs, even just keeping him company; that's what Ethan was here for. He felt it was a little unfair; Carlos had more on his side of the agreement than Ethan did. Especially considering that Carlos had already done so much for him even before he got sick. But neither of them had said anything about it so, for now, that was how they spent most of their time.

A couple hours passed of Carlos showing Ethan old pictures and sharing the memories that accompanied them, when a knock came at the door. Ethan's chest immediately tightened and he felt his stomache twist into a thousand knots. He looked down to his hands and felt guilty that he was being such a wuss for not being able to actually open a frickin door.

Carlos smiled at him. "Don't worry, I got this." He pushed himself up from the couch and trudged to the door. He coughed into the crook of his arm, wincing a little, and opened the door. Immediately he felt himslef blushing when he saw no other than Piper standing in front of him.

"Uh P-piper. Hi.." he stumbled over his words.

Piper smiled at him a little. "Hey, Carlos. How have you been?"

"Uh. Psh. I've been better...but I guess I've also been worse. Now I don't know."

The blonde girl giggled and looked down to her black hightops, glancing up at the sickly boy every now and then. "So...I...well..."

Carlos looked at her concerned. _He_ was usually the awkward one that couldn't talk. What was going on?

"I uh..I broke up with Kacey." Piper muttered, her voice cracking a little. Her bright blue eyes were misted over and small tears had started forming.

"You...you what?" Carlos asked surprised, trying not to start jumping up and down and screaming with joy at the top of his lungs.

"Yeah. I got a potential job back in London and he...didn't handle it well. I'm not going to go into details, but yeah. It's over."

"Wait you're going back to London?" Of course, as soon as something good happened, again the world came crashing down.

"Yeah, it's some TV show...I dunno, it's kinda weird, but it's good money and I'd still be able to sing," she said with a shrug.

"Oh...that's...well good for you. I'm-I'm really proud of you, Piper," Carlos felt his heart breaking all over again.

Piper looked up at him, as if half expecting for something to happen. She cleared her throat and nodded, looking back down to her feet. "Yeah...I guess. Well, I leave this Sunday. I'll...see you around." She wrapped her arms around herself and walked down the hall and out of his life.

Carlos sighed and leaned against the doorframe, running a hand through his short hair.

"What are you doing?" Ethan asked.

Carlos jumped, not noticing Ethan joining him at the door. He sighed and looked down, playing with a loose string on the hem of his shirt. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Carlos. What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Carlos shrugged. "She got a job back in London, singing on TV...it's what she's wanted."

Ethan crossed his arms and looked at Carlos in disbelief. "And she doesn't want to go."

Carlos didn't answer, he just pursed his lips in thought.

"Carlos. I don't know much about...anything really. But, dude, you are being an _idiot_ if you think she actually wants to go."

Carlos was silent for a few more minutes then nodded once. "You're right."

He staggered out of the room and to the hall, stopping after a feet and putting his hand on the wall to regain his balance and assure he wouldn't completely pass out.

"Piper.." he called out.

The girl in question came from around the corner in front of him and smiled a little. She put her hands on her hips and said, "Took you long enough."

He smiled widely. "You were waiting for me?"

"Yes," she responded, walking to him. "But I wasn't sure you'd come. Lemme just say thank _god_ for your brother."

Carlos chuckled and nodded. "You can say that again."

She smiled and leaned against the wall in front of him, mimicking his stance. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this."

Carlos laughed once. "How long _you've_ been waiting? I think I can honestly say I beat you by a landslide."

Piper smiled. "Oh really?"

"Easy win."

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Carlos asked. "Do you mind if I kiss you now?"

Piper smiled. "Why don't we get you back to 2J first...you look like you're about to pass out."

"That's probably a good idea."

Piper giggled and put an arm under his right arm and helped back inside.

But before they were even inside, Carlos stopped her and gave her a swift peck on the lips. "Sorry," he said, slightly blushing. "I couldn't wait."

Piper smiled, face also tinted pink, and shrugged slightly. "We've both been waiting long enough. Apparently you much longer."

Carlos smiled and sat down on the couch with her.

When Jennifer came back a couple hours later, she found Ethan sitting on the floor, back against the kitchen counter and looking at a photo album, and Carlos and Piper watching a movie together. She smiled. Guess there was nothing to worry about after all...

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** **Yeah sorry that was pretty short. Like I said, I'll try to be updating more often...sorry for such a long wait and please review! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Chapter 15! Promised I'd update more frequently and I am.**

**-Real quick, just wanna give a shoutout to Imabe! You are so awesome! Thank you so much! :D**

**Anyway, enjoy chapter 15 everyone and make sure to review! :)**

**(:-:)-(:-:)**

**Warning: abuse, implied rape, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters. Really, any of them will do.**

**October, Wednesday 31st, 2012**

****(:-:)-(:-:)****

Kendall, James, and Logan were huddled around their younger brother's locker, waiting. After finally being able to see him in the hospital, it didn't take long to notice the black eye and various other bruises that marred his carmel skin. And once he was awake, it took an even shorter amount of time to find out who his bullies were.

The three felt horrible for not being there for him sooner. But looking back, they could see where they went wrong. James saw that he was too obsessed with being popular and being in the spotlight, that he didn't see his baby brother hurting. Logan realized that he was always either in labs or with fellow geniuses and such that he blocked out anyone and everyone to the point where he made himself unappropachable and distanced himself from Carlos and his family. But Kendall, out of all them, felt the worse about his little brother. He noticed that he was spending all his time with Jo. And if he wasn't _with_ her, he was always thinking about her. And because he was so distracted, he wasn't able to pick up on the little things that were off with Carlos. Like the times he would wince and grimace every now and then, being a bit more clingy and always wanting to be with the older boys when they were at school, and then the biggest indicator; when Kendall found concealer and other such make-up's in his backpack. Unfortunately, he was too blinded to see what it actually was and just put it all off as his usual darevdevil like stunts and pranks.

But now the threesome had a plan; afterschool they were going to find Axel Finn and beat the crap out of the bastard.

* * *

><p>James, Logan, and Kendall walked inside apartment 2J, shoulders slumped. They hadn't taken into account the fact that maybe Finn wouldn't be at school today...or that he would be moving in a few days.<p>

The three sighed and all plopped onto the couch, thinking of a new plan.

Ethan walked down the stairs and saw the three boys slouched on the orange sofa.

"What's...going on?" he asked hesitantly.

Kendall glanced up to him and replied, looking at his hands, "Well. We were gonna try to make it up to Carlos, but it seems we can't...at least today."

Ethan looked at the boys confused. "Uh, okay...?"

"We were gonna find Axel Finn, the dude who beat up Carlos, and teach him a lesson," James explained.

"And why can't you?" Ethan asked.

"He wasn't here today and he's leaving for stupid Florida soon," Logan answered.

"I…still don't understand the problem…" Ethan said.

Kendall rolled his eyes. "If he's leaving soon, we can't teach him a lesson."

"Why not go to his place? If he's moving, he won't be able to complain to any teachers or to…mom," Ethan cleared his throat. "Point is now is your best bet."

The three boys on the couch looked at each other. Why hadn't they thought of that? The three boys mentally hit themselves for not coming up with something sooner and just giving up.

James stood up quickly. "Well what are we waiting for? Let's do it!"

Logan and Kendall followed suit and soon they were all out the door.

* * *

><p>Ethan was sitting in his room, putting together more puzzles, when he heard a knock at his bedroom door. The lanky blonde looked at the locked door confused; people didn't come to his room…<p>

He slowly got up, his stomach slightly spinning and churning into knots, and unlocked and opened the door.

Kendall was standing outside, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Uh hey.."

"Hey," Ethan responded, shocked to see him there.

"I..uh," the younger blonde cleared his throat. "Thanks," Kendall smirked a little. "We really taught that guy a lesson. Can't believe we didn't think of going to his place in the first place."

"Oh," Ethan nodded a bit. "Okay. Well...good for you. I'm glad. I'm sure Carlos will be glad to know."

Kendall also nodded, just as uncomfortable as the elder knight. "So...y'know. I'll...I'll see ya at dinner."

"Yeah.." Ethan slowly closed the door and Kendall walked back downstairs.

Kendall shook his head. It was awkward, but at least they were slightly communicating better.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeah, I know this chapter sucked...and was short. I didn't really like it either. I just wanted something where Ethan and Kendall would finally bond, even if just a little. ANYWAY! Please review! Thanks! :)**


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